OD-ed

She had died of an accidental overdose. Her brother did not and probably still does not believe it today. I did not ask too many questions when we spoke over the phone. There was no point. She remains gone even if we had all the answers in the world.

Her passing would trigger a prominent lawyer’s fall from grace as the case went to trial with prosecutors questioning the definitions of “deliver”, “delivering”, “constructive delivering”, “aiding and abetting” from the perspectives of purchase and application.

By legal classification, that is where the fault lies. Had the contact not provided the means, then she would not have died. The law now allows a person’s involvement in the process of drug-procurement to be liable because the law argues that an addict is either less likely or completely incapable of sourcing for themselves when they need a fix unless provided for.

According to www.freedictionary.com, addiction is defined as a “compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance, thing or activity”. My friend overdosed within two weeks of discovering her new escapade. She was no addict. Did she even understand what she was experiencing?

I know. I sound cold. I sound unsympathetic. I sound like I do not have and probably do not deserve a heart. But I had loved my friend and I know that there was a void in her long that no one could fill before drugs. I did not know how to help her and just hoped it would go away or improve, romantically believing the supposed wisdom that comes with age will work like magic and sort everything out effortlessly.

Had she survived the ordeal and the situation not gone public, would she then qualify as an addict, over time? I had previously referred to Russell Brand’s Amy Winehouse tribute where he wrote about the need to understand and care for an addict. But to that I now ask, what about honesty? What about the truth? What about saying the things that will hurt for the good and better? How are we helping by exempting individuals of freewill and responsibility? Because the ‘means’ are easy enough a scapegoat?

If we really want to help, stop treating the addiction and treat the person instead. Addiction is just a convenient outlet people stumble up or introduced to because they hope it can mask and alleviate the part that hurts inside due to reasons they prefer to not talk about. Addiction is the residual of a wound that was abandoned when it needed tending the most and as time passes, it festers, rots and pretends to be something else.

In the end, we can nail everyone from the seller, the buyer and even the drugs to the wall but one immutable, irrefutable fact remains; my friend called her contact, got to the apartment, smoked crack cocaine in the living room, then injected heroin in the bedroom and she did it all willingly. In fact, she chose to. A bad choice no doubt, but a conscious one nonetheless, leaving the rest of us with a lifetime of guilt and what could-have-been.


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