My Life With OCD

It wasn’t something that I or my family knew I had – at the tender age of 10, jumping up from the couch and turning around three times to ensure nobody in my home was going to die was a normality for me. I remember a night of absolute devastation because my younger sister wouldn’t say “goodnight;” poor girl had no idea that I was laying all my hopes of survival on that one word. Eventually, my mother told her off, which made her say it.

You may have worked out by now that I am talking about the powerful effects of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how it can turn a sensible, well-adjusted, intelligent person into a quivering wreck.

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I am in no way qualified to discuss the possible medical reasons for this problem, and I don’t want to. What I want to do is discuss solutions and thought patterns that have helped me live a pretty good life with OCD.

It doesn’t have to make us prisoners, and we can live well on whatever path we have to travel.

Putting Things in Order

For years this has bugged me: Sometimes I can be watching television and a certain situation or conversation will jump out at me and constantly buzz around my head. Unless I remember everything in order, I can’t relax, which often brings on a lot of anxiety. I remember being at the cinema with a new friend – I wanted the evening to go well, and I was looking forward to it. I started getting a bit obsessive about the conversations until I had to repeat them over and over to myself. I sure didn’t take in much of the movie. Funnily enough, I had gone to see “As Good as It Gets” with Jack Nicholson, a film about a man and his obsessive anxiety.

You might wonder how I get through this. Well, I learned to deal with it by writing down anything that I feel the need to remember. I can then refer to it when I feel the compulsion. This helps me tremendously:

A. Because it is right in front of me, and there is nothing for my mind to struggle with anymore.
B. Because I know it’s there, I don’t worry, which, in turn, stops the obsession I have.

Remember to take a pen and paper to the movies with you, otherwise you’ll be disturbing everyone while you rush around trying to find one.

Obsessive Thoughts

These are unwanted thoughts and images that just throw themselves into my head. The best way for me to deal with them is to say “come on” instead of “go away.” If I allow the thought completely, then tell myself I don’t mean it, it disappears. It took hard work and perseverance, but it works extremely well now.

Rituals

By far the hardest part of my OCD are the rituals. I can be talking to people and suddenly have to walk three steps to the right, or I have to blink my left eye and click my teeth together twice just to stop the onslaught of illness and sadness.

OCD symptoms come on in times of stress, which is why when I feel the need to relax and stay cool, I cuddle my dressed-up teddy bears. Currently, I’m sitting with Charlie, my basketball bear, who is dressed up in my son’s soccer shirt and sunglasses. I hope that made you smile.


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