Helping Your Preteen with Their First Crush

by on January 5th, 2015
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Do you remember when you were a young child in elementary school playing on the playground, and than that boy came along and pulled your pigtail? When you’re a child, crushes come easy and if you have a child in elementary school, it won’t be uncommon for your child to come home and talk all about the boy or girl that sits next to them in class and how “dreamy” they are. When a first crush happens at a young age like this, nothing horrible can come from it.. Crushes like that go even faster than they come.

But what about crushes that happen as a preteen and that first crush will surely turn into a first broken heart. So, your preteen daughter or son has their first real crush and you are an adult and you know how it will end but you can’t let your child know that they are just going to get hurt and that their crush doesn’t even matter right? That could hurt the relationship you have with your child.

As a parent, you have an opinion of your child’s crush but it’s important that you keep your opinions to yourself and help your child understand what’s going on and help make sure they are being safe and aren’t getting hurt. You can’t allow your child to deal with their feelings all on their own.

First, you need to make sure they understand the whole “difference” between boys and girls. Give them a talk before you allow them to start going out with someone.

*Tip. Don’t allow your preteen daughter to go out with a date alone. Go with them or make sure there will be a chaperone.

After you’ve had a good talk with your child, tell them about your first crush and how old you were and this crush effected you and your life and how you were in school. You never want your child to let anything interfere with their schoolwork.

Ask them to tell you about their crush. Does she have long hair? Is he smart? Does she play any sports? Etc. An important question to ask your child is if they think their crush feels the same way. This will help your child really think about their feelings and what it would feel like if their crush didn’t feel the same way.

Don’t shrug this off. Your child is serious about this crush and it could really bother your child if you don’t take her/him seriously. It could cause a lot of problems in your household. You should also try and make sure that nobody in your house makes fun of your child for their feelings.

A child’s first crush can be hard for a parent to deal with, but if you calmly talk with your child and make them clear to certain rules for when it comes to “dating” you’ll feel much better. It’s important that you are there for your child during this time, and especially when it comes time for the break-up to happen.


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