COMMENTARY | Though robbery is no joke, The Associated Press reports a man wearing a Gumby costume walked into a 7-Eleven convenience store in the San Diego area and demanded that the store clerk give him money. The clerk thought it must be a joke and told Gumby to stop wasting his time as he needed clean up the store.
Gumby then proceeded to say, “You don’t think this is a robbery? I have a gun,” according to Reuters. But his big green costume got in the way and the best he could do was pull out 26 cents in change that fell to the floor. His cohort then walked out of the store, got in the getaway car and honked for the robber to leave. The young clerk didn’t even know who Gumby was, and told his boss it was a “green Sponge-Bob Square Pants” who had attempted the failed robbery. It was all captured on the surveillance camera, and San Diego police are taking the incident seriously.
I’m not sure who I’d be more afraid of, a big green Sponge-Bob or giant Gumby, but I can see why the clerk didn’t take the man seriously. Who would be that brainless? As we know, there are lots of people walking around who are obviously not too bright.
I still give Gumby top prize for being one of the dumbest criminals but there are, of course, many others. A Florida man tried to escape police while they searched his home for stolen property. The getaway vehicle? A riding lawn mower. Let’s just say he didn’t make it very far before he was arrested.
This past October, a man in my home state of Oregon tried to break into a museum wearing a Ghillie Suit. The costume is a suit of camouflage that is covered in moss, used by military personnel. According to AP, the “Moss Man” had tried digging a hole into the wall of the museum for days in preparation for his robbery. Little did Moss Man know, someone had noticed a large hole in the bathroom wall, and security devices were installed. When the man was caught, he tried to escape through the woods, but the officers K9 tracked him and bit him through the suit as Moss Man cried out in pain.
Seeing that this event took place in Oregon, there were probably more than a few disappointed Big Foot watchers who thought they had finally seen the beast. Instead, it was only the slightly daft Moss Man.