Forgive to Win in Your Career: Ruchira Agrawal Talks to Dr. Walter E. Jacobson

Building strong healthy relationships are important not just in your personal life but also at your work place. Perhaps you are working towards a leadership position or you are already there or maybe you just want to know how to get along better with your boss and colleagues; regardless of where you are in your career, one thing that we all know is that having the support and trust of others is an integral part of career and life success. Yet with all this knowledge and information, sometimes it’s not that easy to do so.

So I decided to get some words of wisdom from Dr. Walter E Jacobson to help us understand and navigate through our workplace relationships better. Dr. Jacobson, a graduate of Cornell University, the Medical College of Wisconsin, and the UCLA / San Fernando Valley Psychiatry Residency Program, is a Board-Certified Psychiatrist who specializes in insight-oriented psychotherapy, cognitive-behavior therapy, spiritual psychotherapy, relationships therapy, equine-assisted psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and past life regression therapy. In addition, he is a Motivational & Inspirational Speaker and a Mastery Of Life Mentor guiding people towards the fulfillment of their goals and dreams. He recently published his book and became a Best Selling Author – Forgive to Win. I am honored to be interviewing him and very appreciative of his time.

1.Please tell us a little about yourself and your work Dr. Jacobson?
Dr.Jacobson – I’m a board certified psychiatrist. I’ve been practicing in the Los Angeles area since 1999. I specialize in Spiritual Psychotherapy which consists of spiritual principles and cognitive techniques for overcoming self-sabotaging behaviors and improving the quality of one’s life.

2.You have recently written and published a book called Forgive to Win, what can you tell us about it?
Dr.Jacobson-The premise is that we sabotage ourselves because of guilt, shame and self-loathing deeply embedded in our unconscious mind that we are not aware of. If that is the case, then the only way to eliminate our self-sabotaging behaviors is to forgive ourselves and love ourselves.
The way to forgive ourselves and love ourselves is to –
a) to be of service to others
b) forgive and love others
c) to release all judgments and attack thoughts without conditions or exceptions.
In my book, Forgive To Win!, I created the Forgiveness Diet, a structured daily regimen designed to re-program the mind so as to make these spiritual behaviors habits that transform ourselves and our world.

3.Your book talks about people self-sabotaging their own relationships, what does that mean exactly? What are the signs to look for?
Dr.Jacobson– People sabotage their relationships in a variety of ways. Rather than doing things that endear their partners to them, they tend to do things that are selfish and unloving which drive their partners away. They take their partners for granted. They assume the worst. They aren’t generous with their compliments and affection. They refuse to compromise. They are sarcastic and belittling. They refuse to admit when they are wrong and apologize. They allow resentments to build up and then these resentments come out in communications that are unloving, passive-aggressive and abusive. They yell and call names.

What are the signs to look for: If you don’t have the relationship you would like to have with your partner, most likely one or both of you are doing things to sabotage the relationship.

4.What are self-limiting beliefs and how do they impact career success?
Dr.Jacobson– Some examples of self-limiting beliefs:
a)I’m not good enough
b)I’m not smart enough
c)I can’t do it
d)It’s too difficult
e)Something is going to go wrong
f)There’s no point in trying
g)Nice guys finish last
h)No good deed goes unpunished
All of these and others as well impact career success because they contribute to our not going the distance, to our not putting in our best effort, to our procrastinating and giving up.

5.Do people self-sabotage their workplace relationships as well? Can you tell us how they may be doing so and not even be aware of it?
Dr.Jacobson– People who sabotage themselves usually sabotage all aspects of their lives, including their work and career. Common ways in which people sabotage their workplace and business relationships:
a)Not calling people back or not calling them back in a timely fashion
b)Being late for meetings
c)Committing to a project and then not doing it or doing it but leaving out important elements. Or giving a poor presentation
d)Gossiping about fellow workers behind their backs and spreading rumors are also self-sabotaging behaviors because often times this creates bad will between people that comes back to haunt them somewhere down the road.

6.Dr. Jacobson, what if a person works with a boss or a colleague that they need to get along with but just can’t, what can they do to start building a more positive relationship? Where should they begin?
Dr.Jacobson
a)Try to be helpful and generous regardless of how the other person treats you or responds
b)Try to be understanding and gracious
c)Try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt
d)Don’t assume the worst
e)Try to see their point of view
f)Try to be a more effective communicator.
When you disagree with someone it is always best to find something positive to say first, to validate them, to demonstrate an appreciation and respect for them, and then bring up your counterpoint position. This keeps people from getting defensive and angry, which makes it a greater likelihood that they will hear your message.

7.You talk about the Power of Forgiveness and the Forgiveness diet, please share with us what it is all about?
Dr.Jacobson– Forgiveness is a powerful healing force that can bring us joy and inner peace. The Forgiveness Diet is about eliminating behaviors that get in the way of the forgiveness process, such as judgments, resentments, grievances, jealousies, anger, sarcasm, ridicule, gossip, and dishonesty.

8.What are the keys to building strong valuable workplace relationships? How can Forgiveness help us do that?
Dr.Jacobson-The key to building strong relationships of any kind is to be honest, compassionate, generous, gracious, supportive, accepting and forgiving of others despite how badly they may be behaving. Forgiveness improves all relationships because true, unconditional forgiveness involves the elimination of judgmental thoughts which are the greatest detriment to healthy, strong relationship building.

9.And finally how can people contact you and purchase your book?
Dr.Jacobson – People can purchase the book at Amazon.com
Join me on Twitter: Twitter
Visit my Website: Website


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