A police captain is going over a report with officers responding to a Code 502, Drunk Driving, Code 505, Reckless Driving that ended in a Code 480, Hit and run.
The report read that about 1830 hours, an unidentified motorist was observed driving erratically through downtown city streets. Three units of squad cars and officers were dispatched to respond.
When officers first observed the car out of control, none could make out the driver. No one could believe what they were seeing but the driver did not look human.
Whoever it was, whatever it was in violation of several statues regarding safe operation of a motor vehicle. With sirens blaring, officers gave chase. Just as all cars were about triangulate and stop the culprit, the situation went from bad to worse. An elderly lady is hit in the crosswalk and the driver does not stop. It has become a Code 480.
An ambulance is dispatched for the injured lady while police continued their chase ending with the driver crashing straight into a building. Officers radioed for another ambulance to be on standby.
As all slowly approached the car with broken radiator venting hot steam, horn blowing and lights flashing, they all look closely to see what is behind the wheel. Officers to the left, one with gun drawn and the other using extreme caution calls out to the driver.
The response is only a muffled sound that sounds like, “Gimme a sour ear.”
The officer opens the door and out falls what appears to have been a driving hoofed animal looking very much like familiars of the season and especially the big night of Christmas Eve. Nobody is going to believe a drunken deer has been driving downtown and ran over an elderly lady in a crosswalk.
The discerned sound is heard again, “Gimme a sour ear.”
A tow truck has arrived on the scene when a greasy skinny hardly any teeth in his head whistle britches looking feller says, “Ya’ll goin suffocate him in nere, ur what? I heard him say as plain as day, get me outta here.”
On closer inspection, they reach to the touch the driving deer that just feel out of the car mumbling, “Gimme a sour ear.” It is not a deer after all. It’s an elderly man inside and he’s feeling pretty sore.
This was his story. He had dropped his wife off downtown earlier in the day to do a bit of last minute shopping on Christmas Eve when he decided he’d have some fun with her. He’d put on a reindeer suit on before he came back to pick her up.
A few blocks before he was to pick her up, the head started sliding around on him and he couldn’t see. The woman that got hit in the crosswalk was coming out to get in her own car when it hit her and done knocked her down back on the side walk.
When the Captain completed reviewing the report, her got all the reporting officers on the line at the same time and asked, “Are all of you telling that a woman got run over by accident when her husband hit her in a crosswalk?”
One officer responded for the all saying, “That’s right chief. Grandma got run over by a reindeer on Christmas Eve.”