Confession: I have tried online dating.
Confession: I think it was kind of fun. The anticipation waiting for an e-mail back, waiting for him to ask for my number, the first phone call and how terrifying it is, how exciting and nervous I was for the first date anxiously wondering if real life him was going to be as wonderful and everything I had grown to like in the online and texting version of him.
Confession: I like the idea of online dating more than face-to-face dating (at first.) See, with online dating you get to go through the literally thousands and thousands of profiles that are out there and weed through the ones that meet or don’t meet your physical desires (mine is dark hair, dark eyes, glasses (though not necessary.) Then you move on and read through the description to see if they like dogs, read books, are a “manly man” that likes fishing/hunting, or if they have any weird quirks like having a fascination with bees or still collects hot wheels.
See, when you date online first you get to see if the person you’re talking to is worth your time, energy and money to meet in person. Do they fascinate you in such a way that you want to spend time with them in real life? Do you like them enough to meet up with them for dinner or coffee and have a real time conversation–face to face– and come up with things to talk about on the fly, and take the chance of not sounding funny, or witty or well spoken, since you don’t have the luxury of taking time to reply to to an email or text, and don’t have the option of pressing the “cancel” or “backspace” buttons to void what you said originally. What you say is what you say. There is no going back.
Do you like them enough to show that you kind of have a funny laugh or a peculiar sneeze (that would be me), or maybe have them find out the hard way that when you’re around someone you’re attracted to and like, i.e. them, you get nervous and fidgety and talk a bit too much and can’t find your off switch to you, the now over sharing version of a real life Chatty Cathy (also something I sometimes have).
One of the problems with online dating is that while yes, the anticipation and buildup of everything is usually exciting and nerve wrecking, is that you, like myself, build up this person into some super human that’s more like a God than someone you haven’t even met yet. Take me for example: this one time I met a guy online and we started talking. Things were going well, and when it was time to meet I had this idea that he could do no wrong in my mind. Turns out, he had this weird lip thing where his bottom lip stuck out so it looked like he was always pouting, and he played a crazy amount of video games and I would have rather just talked on the phone than gone to visit him because he really was quite dull, and let’s face it: on the phone I can always hang up and say “Oh snap, my phone died and I couldn’t find my charger…again.” Regardless, I spent six months with the chap, probably because I liked the idea of a relationship more than actually being in one with him. And let’s face it: that’s a horrible reason for anyone to be in a relationship. Ah, reality.
Now, there is absolutely no reason why men don’t love me the first time they see me. HA! Gotcha! My hair is quite frizzy on any given day despite my best attempts to tame it. I’m curvy (and love them most days), I sometimes talk too much, and I can guarantee you that I will start mouthing words as you talk. Weird, I know. But on a whole, I’m pretty normal…and probably the most normal amongst all my friends.
So say that they surpass all expectations and really are just as awesome in the real life version of them as the online version. Now what? You’re going on dates, and holding hands, and gasp! Kissing! How do you bring up the whole, “We- met- online- and- some- people- know- that-, but- now- that- things- are- serious- I’d- really- appreciate- it- if- we- both- took- down- our- dating- profiles- because- I- think- you’re- worth- my- time- and- I- really- like- you- and- want- to- be- with- you- and- not- anyone- else,” conversation?
In my own experience it often is best to just say, “So I really like you, and you really like me. I think it would be best if we want to keep seeing each other that we both take down our dating profiles from where we met.”(That is of course, assuming you both only have one profile out there.) Then, wait until he takes his down, and leave yours up. No, I’m serious. You met online first and even though you care for him, it’s best to keep an eye out to see if he brings his back after he thinks yours is gone. (Lot’s of guys do this!) Now, this is really only for those of you who are involved in the long distance relationship. There is no way, no matter how much you trust him, that you know he isn’t lying to you, and it really is only to protect yourself.
The thing is, people lie. People lie to stay out of trouble, to get what they want, to get laid, to play the field…but the bottom line is, people lie and you have to be proactive about your own life. Do you want to be that girl who gets her hopes up again only to have them dashed down and be made a fool of by some silly boy? Of course you don’t. If you’re planning on meeting a boy or girl online, be smart about it.
Confession: Online dating is fun, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. That is of course, unless you’re my grandparents and think I’m the only person in the whole wide world doing it. (Yes, Grandma, match.com made the website just for me! Crazy, isn’t it? Too bad no one else in the whole world is on there because I sure would like to meet a nice fella! Oh, wait…)
I will go as far as to say that I bet more and more people are making online connections these days than actually meeting someone “organically” or the good ole old fashioned way of letting “fate” play its role in life. I thought I was done with online dating the last time I met someone on this one website. Turns out, the account I kept active (and forgot about because we never got to the serious “talk,”) has informed my email account that I have new messages that need to be read! Well, here goes nothing.