Parenting styles differ considerably. Some parents are more permissive than others. While everyone wants to raise polite children, not all parents agree on who should be allowed to discipline their children when they have done something wrong. Should you discipline your friend’s children?
How Will Your Friend React?
While some friends will gladly accept advice from fellow parents, many bristle at the thought of their childless friends disciplining their children. If your friend sometimes expresses how angry she gets when a childless friend tries to tell her children what to do, take your cue and hold your peace if you happen to be one of those friends.
Even those with professional experience as teachers or childminders sometimes have a hard time when it comes to disciplining their friends’ children if they are not parents themselves. Do not assume that your professional experience with children will endear you to your friends if you try to discipline their children. Many parents will find it rude and presumptuous if you try to tell their children off when you do not have any personal experience of raising children.
Have the Children Been Taught to Obey You?
Most young children will readily obey their parents and will listen when they are disciplined. However, some children refuse to obey anyone who is not their parent or other close family member. Talk to your friend about the matter.
If you sometimes step in and tell your friend’s children off for misbehaving, yet they refuse to listen to you, find out why. Your friend may have instilled in them the need to only listen to discipline when it comes from Mummy or Daddy. If that is the case, you have clearly overstepped the mark by trying to discipline your friend’s children. Let the parents handle the matter and keep quiet.
Always Defer to the Parents
It does not matter if you have known your best friend for a few months or a whole lifetime, it is still important to defer to her or to her spouse when it comes to disciplining their children.
Disciplining your friend’s children can easily backfire. For example, how do you know that putting Johnny in timeout for hitting his sister is the most effective punishment? Some children fare better by having a toy taken away or sent to their room. Whenever you see your friend’s children misbehaving, resist the urge to step in. Talk to your friend and let her deal with the situation.
Discipline is a touchy subject. It is even more of a touchy subject when you are attempting to discipline your friend’s children. Find out how your friend will react if you discipline her children and whether or not the children have been taught to obey you. The best course of action is to always defer to the parents and follow their lead.