I’ve re-written this story to include a segment on the difficulty of adjusting to mainstream life after being released from prison. Thanks to my fans for reading it.
The story was inspired by Dan Sultan’s song, “Old Fitzroy”. Please see my blog called “Dan Sultan Rules” for more information about this incredible Australian musician.
CHAPTER 1
Jenna gingerly walked down the driveway with the shovel, hoping she wasn’t going to slip on the frozen snow. If she didn’t get the berms cleared out of the driveway, she would never be able to get the car out to go to work tomorrow morning.
Why the snowplow made the biggest ridges of snow in front of her driveway, she didn’t know. It had snowed a foot or two on Saturday and then rained overnight. Now the snow was frozen hard. The snow shovel wouldn’t touch it, so she had brought out the stiffer flat blade. She got a good grip on the shovel handle and tried to scoop the snow away. The blade just bounced off.
“Jesus Christ and all the saints!” she cursed, whacking the resistant snow berm again. She slipped and fell to one knee.
A man who was walking by stepped over the berm and helped her up. “Let me try that!” He laughed, saying, “It looks like fun!” Attacking the snow berm, he made short work of it. She realized he was young and fit, not one of the usual retired men she saw walking in the neighborhood.
“I can shovel the whole driveway if you want,” he said. Straightening up, he looked over at her. About all she could see were his eyes, warm and brown. There was a look of pain and vulnerability about him. He was bundled up in a tan down jacket with a hood, carrying a backpack. His face was obscured by a sandy beard and mustache.
“That would be great,” she said. She watched while he dropped the backpack and set to work. After a moment, she went back inside through the garage. In the house, she got the soup she had made the night before out of the refrigerator and put it on to heat.
Finding her purse, she opened her wallet and got out a twenty-dollar bill, wondering if he would let her pay him. Jenna busied herself in the kitchen until he was almost finished and then put her coat back on and went outside.
“I don’t suppose you will let me pay you for this,” she said, holding out the bill.
He shook his head and leaned the shovel against the garage. Putting his backpack on, he said, “No, but thanks for the offer. I volunteered.” He sighed, looking up at the late afternoon sun. Gazing at her longingly, he took in her beautiful complexion, long curly brown hair and slightly chubby body. She looked to be in her early thirties and was the best looking thing he had seen since walking out of the prison gates.
He started to leave, but she said, “Wait!” He turned around and she said, “I have some soup heating. Won’t you stay and eat some with me?”
He hesitated and then came back to stand in front of her. Looking at her shyly, he said, “I need to tell you something before you allow me in your house. I’m an ex-con. I just got out of High Desert today after 10 years in prison.”
Jenna stared into his eyes for a moment before answering. Looking closely, she suddenly realized his eyes were golden, a clear amber with bright highlights. “I’m not afraid of you. Please come in. It’s cold and I can’t eat all that soup myself!”
He stared down at the ground for a moment, but she knew he really wanted to come inside. He was probably hungry, she thought, smiling to herself at how attractive a hungry man was to someone who loved to cook!
Finally, he took a deep breath and held out his hand. “My name is Lucas Dawson and I would love some hot soup!”
“Good,” Jenna said, shaking his hand. It was cold and a little rough. “I’m Jenna Morgan and I’m glad to meet you.” Turning and heading back into the house, she asked, “Not the Lucas Dawson, I suppose?”
“Sorry, I’m not familiar with anyone else by that name!”
“Never mind, he’s a musician! I was just trying to be funny.” She glanced back over her shoulder as she opened the door into the house. “How did you get over here from Susanville?”
“I hitched a ride to Highway 70 and hitched from there,” he answered. Once in the laundry room, he took off his backpack and jacket and placed them on the washing machine. His shaggy hair was too long, a warm honey blond that made her want to run her hands through it. He was wearing a green plaid lumberjack shirt and brown pants. “It’s nice and warm in here,” he said gratefully, following her into the kitchen.
He watched while she made toasted cheese sandwiches. She showed him where the dishes were and he set the table in the dining room by the window.
“Sit down and I’ll bring your soup,” Jenna said, bringing in a plate of sandwiches. The cheese was melting down the sides where she had cut them in half and he felt his mouth start to water. He obediently sat and she brought two steaming bowls of soup and sat down with him.
“Well, the obvious question is, what did you do?” she said, smiling at him. He was busy tucking into a sandwich while the soup cooled, but watched her while he chewed.
After a minute, he explained.
“When I was about 19, I fell in with a bad crowd. I thought all their talk about robbing and stealing was bravado, but they were seriously bad dudes.” He stopped to test the soup. “Wow, this is good! I can’t remember the last time I had homemade chicken soup!”
“Can you remember the last time you ate?” she asked gently.
Lucas didn’t answer, but continued eating as if it had been a long time.
“I went with them on a robbery, but I thought it was just a lark. I drove the get-away car. While they were robbing the bank, one of them shot a guard. We were caught and that’s all she wrote!”
“In other words, you’re innocent?” Jenna looked at him slyly.
“No, not at all!” Lucas said sharply. “I never claimed I was an innocent by-stander. I was young and stupid. I did my time, but now I’m afraid people are not going to let me forget it!” More gently, he said, “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You’ve been nothing but kind.”
Getting up to go, he said, “Thank you for the meal.”
She asked, “Do you have a place to stay?”
He looked away from her and said he would stay at the motel down the street on the highway. Something about the way he said it made her sure he was lying. He probably was just going to move on. His vulnerable golden eyes made her want to keep him coming back.
“If you want to come back tomorrow, you can shovel the walkways and the deck. I would consider it a real favor if you would shovel in front of the mailbox so I can get my mail.” She looked at him hopefully. “I would be happy to pay you. I don’t have anyone else to help me when the snow gets like this!”
“You’re not making up work because you feel sorry for me, are you?” Lucas looked at her doubtfully.
“Did it look like I was able to handle that frozen snow myself?” she asked seriously.
“No. I’ll be happy to come back tomorrow. If I could make a few bucks, that would be good, too!”
The next day, she was very pleased to drive easily out of the garage and into the street without fighting the snow and ice in her driveway. When she came home from work, all the walkways were clear and the mailbox was no longer buried behind a dirty barricade of snow.
CHAPTER 2
Jenna was not able to sleep the next night, tossing and turning in her bed. She wondered where Lucas was, worried that he had slipped away. Finally, she got up and dressed warmly. The moon was full and she decided to take a star gazing walk, something she often did when she couldn’t sleep.
The night was cold, but the moon was shining over the pines. She stopped frequently, drinking in the sight of stars twinkling through the dark trees. Jenna remembered her childhood when her mother had told her of the German who invented the Christmas tree. He attempted to capture the wonder of stars shining through the trees by placing candles on an evergreen.
She returned through the back yard since Lucas had cleared the snow around the gates and made a path through the yard up to the deck. As she approached the open shed, she saw a faint light and stopped. Walking softly, she went to the shed and looked in. Lucas was sound asleep in his down bag, a newspaper and flashlight on the wood floor beside his makeshift bed.
Jenna saw that he had put his sleeping bag on the old chaise that was stored at the back of the shed. Shaking her head at male pride, she stepped into the shed and bent down.
“Lucas!” She touched his shoulder. He woke and smiled sleepily up at her for a moment. Then, the reality of his situation dawned on him and he struggled to get out of the sleeping bag.
She stepped back, smiling to herself at his discomfort.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, finally untangling himself from the down bag and standing to face her. “I shouldn’t have slept in your shed without asking! Please don’t call the police!” He bent to grab his things while she picked up the newspaper and flashlight.
“The classifieds! You probably won’t find much in here!” She smiled gently and put her hand on his arm. He was trembling with cold and fear. “Please don’t be upset. I’m not calling the police. Bring your things inside and you can sleep in the guest room.” He took a deep breath and bundled his sleeping bag into the backpack and slipped on his jacket.
Protesting as she led the way, he followed her up the steps to the deck and inside the sliding glass door. Jenna took him to the guest room, taking his backpack and putting it on the chest of drawers. She grabbed a hanger out of the closet and held out her hand for his down jacket. Reluctantly, he took it off and watched while she hung it up.
“The bathroom is right here,” she said, going into the hall and opening the door to the bathroom. “There are towels and shampoo and pretty much anything you need.”
She noticed that he was becoming nervous, looking around warily, but not meeting her eyes. He took off the dark green plaid shirt and dropped it on the bed. Moving around the bed, he lifted the dark red curtain and looked out. Turning from the window, he came back toward her with a strange expression. Jenna thought he looked pale, although it was hard to tell with his face obscured by the heavy beard and mustache.
“I think I’m going to be sick!” She stood back and he brushed past her to the bathroom. She went into the dark living room, switching on a light. It was hard to listen to him retching without going to see if he was all right. Jenna decided to go in the kitchen to make him some peppermint tea.
When she came back into the living room, he was sitting on the edge of the recliner with his head in his hands. “Are you all right?” Jenna said, coming to stand by him. She held out a glass of water. “I’m making some tea that will help settle your stomach.”
He looked up gratefully. “You must think I’m a basket case, sleeping in your shed and coming inside to get sick! I don’t know why you are doing this.” Sipping the water, he looked down at the floor again. “You wouldn’t have anything for anxiety, would you?”
“Are you feeling bad now that you’re out? I’ve heard it is really tough the first few days.” The kettle sounded and Jenna went back in the kitchen. She poured hot water into two mugs, dunking the tea bag in his first. She didn’t leave it long, wanting to give him a gentle remedy, and dropped it quickly into her own cup. Finding the saltines in the pantry, she put everything on a tray and went back to find him leaning back in the chair with his eyes closed.
Jenna placed the tray on the end table beside the recliner and lightly touched his arm. She poured a little of the cold water in from the glass into his cup to cool the tea. Taking one of the mugs and a handful of saltines, she sat on the couch with her feet tucked under her. Lucas opened his eyes and sat up, taking the mug and sipping the hot peppermint.
“God, that tastes good!” Lucas groaned. He watched her for a few moments, wondering what it was about her that made him want to bare his soul. He had been overwhelmed by the fear and pain that washed over him shortly after leaving the prison. Now he felt so alone, all he wanted to do was stay with her where he felt safe.
He had looked forward to his release with such anticipation; he hardly listened to the counselor explaining that it was common to have mixed emotions after being incarcerated for so long. After the plodding, day-to-day sameness of prison life, he was going to be free under the bright blue sky for the first time in ten years! Never mind it was the middle of winter; he would get as far away from the prison as he could that very day!
Not one to think much about his clothing before, he was looking forward to wearing something other than blue shirts and blue jeans. And food! He rubbed his hands together, thinking of all the things he would be able to eat. Fresh fruits and vegetables with really good brown bread, slathered with real butter instead of disgusting margarine. How he had missed barbecuing steaks and ribs on a Weber in the back yard!
John Harris, the counselor, had taken Lucas to the thrift store early on Sunday morning to change his prison blues since he had no one to organize his release. He spent most of the $200 John had for him on the used sleeping bag, backpack and clothing. He wouldn’t be eating a lot after a couple of days, he had joked to himself.
He was confident he could get work and had a list of truck repair companies who looked kindly on former inmates and hired them as mechanics. John, a tall, gangly man who was about ready to retire, drove him to the Susanville city limits and pointed down Highway 395.
“Just go south until you hit Reno,” he told Lucas through the open window. “I think you’ll have a better chance of finding work there than anywhere else.” He wished Lucas good luck and turned the car around, heading back toward the prison.
Striding down the road with the sun on his face, smelling the fresh air, Lucas thought he had never had a happier day in his life, except when his twins were born. Thinking of his little girls, he slowed his pace and began wondering if he would ever find them now that he was out. Memories of his wife’s letter to him in prison cut into his happiness like a sharp knife.
Yvonne had never come to see him or bring the babies. After he had been at High Desert for about six months, he received a letter. She told him she was divorcing him, going back to her family in San Diego and starting a new life. He had signed the papers when John had told him there wasn’t anything he could do about it. John’s hair was still brown back then, he thought irrelevantly.
Suddenly his buoyant mood evaporated like fog on the sunny day. Lucas slowed even more and looked around for a rock or something to sit on. A wave of cold fear washed over him, making him shiver in the warm jacket and flannel shirt. His stomach was in a knot and he was finding it difficult to take a deep breath. He stopped and turned around, looking back toward the prison and safety.
It had shocked him that he was wishing he could run back to his former cell where he would be surrounded by people he knew and the familiarity of a routine. In spite of the cold, his head felt hot. What did he think he was doing? Where would he get a job in this economy? How could he live in a strange city with a few bucks and no prospects?
“I was standing there, completely disoriented and just about to go back to Susanville, when a car came by and offered me a ride,” he told Jenna. “I wasn’t really paying attention to where we were going. They turned off on Highway 70 and dropped me when they took the road to Loyalton. I decided to keep going toward Quincy and here I am!”
“What made you come off the highway into a residential area?” Jenna asked.
Lucas smiled sheepishly as he finished his tea. “I was just dreaming. I thought I would walk around a neighborhood where real people live and pretend I was on my way home.” He had felt at home when he looked into her crystal blue eyes and couldn’t tear himself away after having soup with her.
Instead of moving on, as he had intended to do, he found himself walking around the block, coming back through the alley. A tall pine tree sheltered the alley gate from most of the snow, so he was able to push through and slog his way to the shed in the back yard. It was neatly organized with a chaise lounge set sideways across the back.
Throwing his sleeping bag on the chaise, he had snuggled up and fallen asleep almost instantly. The next day, he heard Jenna leave when the garage door creaked open and then closed again with a grumbling crunch. He got up and neatly folded his bag and set the backpack on the bed beside it.
He had spent the day shoving snow, finding it easier as the warming temperature softened the frozen mess. He dug out the mailbox and cleared the way for the letter carrier to drive by. The work warmed him enough to take off the tan jacket.
Tackling the sidewalks next, he finally ran out of steam from hunger. He didn’t have a watch, but he figured he had worked a couple of hours since Jenna left.
Propping the shovel against the porch, he put his down jacket back on and decided to walk to the nearest grocery store to get something to eat and find a newspaper. He knew there were several places that ran a fleet of diesel trucks in Quincy, so why not just stay?
A supermarket was just a few blocks away, he discovered when he went out to the highway. At the store, he again felt light-headed and shaky in the harsh neon light, wondering if everyone was staring at him. It was disconcerting to find himself afraid to be around people after ten years of nothing but jailbirds and guards.
Grabbing some fresh apples because it was the first display he came across in the store, he went quickly to the dairy case to find the milk. He practically ran back to the front, where he snatched a flashlight from the check stand display. His hands shook as he paid the clerk, getting the right change for a newspaper. Lucas sighed with relief when he went out the automatic door as it whooshed open. Finding the newspaper racks, he got one and walked rapidly back to the safety of Jenna’s shed.
“I ate my apples and drank my milk and then finished the shoveling around the yard,” he told Jenna apologetically. “I spent a lot of time looking through the paper. When I saw the lights come on and I knew you were home, I felt calmer.” He had fallen asleep watching the soft yellow lights in the house, imagining being inside with her.
When Jenna had awakened him, he was still dreaming. His terror at being caught overwhelmed him and he wondered if he would be going back to jail after being free for less than two days. Her kindness had calmed his fears and he could not stop himself from following her inside to the warm light.
“What a roller coaster ride you’ve had the past couple of days,” she smiled down at him as she cleared the tea tray and took it into the kitchen. Coming back, she found him standing in front of the chair, looking awkward and embarrassed.
“You can sit up the rest of the night, but I have to get some sleep!” She laughed and headed toward the hallway.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” Lucas said, following her. “It just doesn’t make sense!”
“I’m fortunate and I have a nice, warm house with an empty guest room,” she said. “It makes sense in the economy of the Universe!” He stared at her while she bid him goodnight and disappeared through a door at the end of the hall. He heard the door lock and smiled to himself as he went into the bathroom.
CHAPTER 3
The next morning, she had breakfast ready when he came out of his room. Knowing better than to argue with her, he sat down to pancakes and bacon.
Jenna watched him surreptitiously as he ate hungrily, thinking how rewarding it would be to cook for him all the time. “I have a list of the things you can do around here to help, if you’re willing,” she told him. “There are tools in the garage and you can call me at work if you have questions. The number is right there. Here’s some money for everything you’ve done.” She patted the twenty-dollar bills sitting beside the list.
She went to work, hoping she had not made a mistake leaving him alone in her house. She had nothing of real value to steal, but all her computer passwords were sitting beside her laptop. Should he get into her bank account, he could loot it in about ten seconds.
When she came home from work, he was taking a nap with the door to the guest room slightly ajar. She checked the list and found he had neatly marked off the items he had attended to. She went to the drapes over the sliding glass door and climbed up the stepladder he had left.
“Did I do it right?” he said as she inspected his handiwork. Turning to look, she found him standing in his socks, wearing the tan cotton shirt tucked neatly in his pants.
“Yes, this looks good,” she said, stepping down. “The installers bent the rod when they put it in and then wouldn’t come back to fix it.”
“Oh, I should have put that stepladder away,” he said, coming to fold it up. She watched while he took it out to the garage. “I heated up the soup, but I wasn’t sure what else you would want,” he said, shyly when he came back.
“How about some garlic bread?” Jenna asked. Tabasco and garlic bread were her litmus tests. If someone loved lots of garlic and hot sauce, they were part of her spiritual tribe.
“Wow, that would be great! You’ll probably have to go easy on the garlic, though. I haven’t had good garlic or hot sauce for ten years!” Lucas laughed. “Prison food is pretty bland!”
“What did you do there for ten years?” She asked while she got out the garlic press and started mashing the aromatic vegetable.
“I took every class they offered, from accounting to wood shop!” He smiled. “I’m a darn good diesel mechanic now, too!” He watched her heat the butter and gently cook the garlic.
“A mechanic, huh? I think I just might be able to find you a job,” Jenna said, plastering French bread with melted butter and garlic. “If I give you a recommendation, you’ll have to keep the job yourself!”
“That would be great!” Lucas said, filling the soup bowls while the garlic bread toasted in the oven. “How can you give me a recommendation? You hardly know me.”
“I have a gut feeling about you or you wouldn’t be in my kitchen ladling out my good soup!” She laughed. “I know some people, so let me try. This is Mecca for diesel engines. There’s the sawmill, lumber trucks, PG&E and the railroad. Good employees are hard to find.”
The next day, Jenna started feeling sick at work and finally gave up around 10 a.m. Driving wearily home, she slipped into the house and flopped on the couch. She was dozing when she heard the bathroom door open and opened her eyes to see Lucas standing at the end of the couch dressed in a towel.
“Wow!” She struggled to sit up. “You clean up nice!”
He had shaved off his mustache and beard as well as cutting the shaggy blond hair. She took in his superb muscle definition and realized he had also taken advantage of the prison gym. There were no tattoos visible, to her relief. He had a square face with a high forehead and his warm golden eyes looked much bigger without all the facial hair.
Jenna looked appreciatively at the blond hair traveling from his chest down his belly to disappear under the towel before she could tear her eyes away. Willing the towel to fall off, she was disappointed when it stubbornly stayed in place. Blushing, she lay weakly back on the couch.
“I wouldn’t have come out like this if I’d known you were here!” Lucas was blushing, too. “What are you doing home so early?”
“I got sick at work and took the rest of the day off,” she said.
He disappeared into the hall, throwing back over his shoulder, “I’ll be right back!”
In a minute, he came back, fully dressed. “Can I get you something? You don’t look well!”
“Just some water, please!” She smiled gratefully up at him.
That afternoon, she felt a little better and spent some time on the phone, looking for a job for Lucas. One of her friends at the mill was looking for a diesel mechanic and told her he would see Lucas immediately.
“If you remember how to drive, you can take my car over to the mill,” Jenna told Lucas as she dug for the keys.
“I think I can manage if it’s not very far,” he said. “I was able to keep up my license by mail!” She gave him directions and was dozing on the couch again when the phone rang.
“I can’t believe it! He hired me right on the spot!” Lucas’ voice rang in her ear. “I called to make sure it’s OK if I don’t bring your car back until after five.”
“Of course, that’s great!” Jenna laughed. “If you can find Taco Bell, would you bring home some tacos for dinner?” She hung up, feeling satisfied.
CHAPTER 4
Jenna sat on the couch, restlessly watching television. Lucas had moved out after he got his first few paychecks, renting a cabin near the mill. She missed his company and was disappointed that he hadn’t come over for dinner since he left. He didn’t want to pay for telephone service and couldn’t get a cell phone. She decided to visit him at work and force the issue. She would go the next day at lunch.
He was unwrapping a sandwich from his brown bag lunch when she found him at the mill break room. “What are you doing here?” He asked, looking around with a frown. Taking her arm, he guided her outside so the other men wouldn’t hear.
“I wanted to know why you haven’t been over for dinner,” she said. “You promised you’d come.”
“I know, but I wanted to prove I could make it on my own without freeloading on you any more!” Lucas put his sandwich down and reluctantly looked into her blue eyes.
“You’re not a freeloader or you’d be living at my house, watching TV all day!” Jenna said sharply. “Don’t put yourself down like that! I miss your company and I love to cook, so please show up on Friday!” With that, she turned around and left, leaving him to stare after her.
She was pleased, but surprised, when he knocked on the door Friday after work. She had made meatloaf with garlic-mashed potatoes in hopes he would make an appearance.
“I’m so glad you came!” She smiled up at him when she opened the door. “I should have offered to pick you up. Did you walk all this way?”
“I caught the bus. I was afraid you’d come and drag me out of my house if I didn’t show up!” he smiled down at her, a twinkle in the golden eyes. Putting his jacket on the dryer, he followed her into the kitchen. “Something smells good!”
“I made my favorite meatloaf with garlic mashed potatoes and green beans. There are chocolate chip cookies for dessert!”
He looked at the rack of cookies on the counter, rubbing his hands appreciatively.
“You can set the table since you know where everything is!” she laughed. “And no dessert until after dinner. You’re as bad as my nephews!”
When dinner was on the table, they sat down. Jenna regaled him with stories of her nephew’s antics and asked him about working at the mill.
When it was time to go, she stood in front of the door, refusing to let him out. Reaching up, she brushed back his uneven blond hair and caressed his cheek. “Please don’t go, Lucas! I’ve missed you so much.”
He cupped her face with both hands and bent his head to kiss her. After a minute or two, he abruptly stopped and stepped back.
“I can’t do this!” His golden eyes filled with tears and he turned to get his jacket.
“Lucas! Promise me you are not going to quit your job and run away because of this!” She stood her ground in front of him, taking the jacket out of his hands and putting it back on the dryer.
Sucking in his breath, he froze. “How did you know I was thinking of doing that?”
“I can see it in your eyes. You’re afraid of commitment, aren’t you? You want to be a rolling stone!” Her blue eyes filled with tears and he groaned, putting his hand on her cheek.
“No! Just the opposite! I’ve dreamed of this so many times! But, I know the end of this dream. If I close my eyes, I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone,” Lucas shook his head as the tears rolled down his face. He had only one CD, John Mayer’s album containing “Dreaming With A Broken Heart”. He always played it over and over before he went to sleep in his lonely little cabin.
Jenna wrapped her arms around his powerful body, drinking in his male smell. “Darling, we are having the same dream now, so waking or sleeping, we’ll always be together.”
“No, baby,” Lucas tried to pull away. “You deserve someone…”
“I deserve someone who is strong and gentle, honest and sweet,” she interrupted. “If you want people to forget about your past, you are going to have to let go of it, too!”
“I fell in love with you when you cursed the snow and hit it with your shovel,” he laughed, brushing away his tears.
“I fell in love with you when you came out of the bathroom wearing a towel!” she said. “I think I was in love with you before that, but I couldn’t see you under all that hair.”
The next morning, Jenna awoke to find Lucas sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. When she sat up and put her arm around him, he turned his face to her and she could see he had been crying again.
“Don’t tell me you’re regretting last night!” She looked at him with real worry in her eyes.
“No,” he breathed, reaching over to caress her face with his gentle fingers. “I was so concerned with just surviving the past few years, I forgot how sweet it was to have a home and family.” He dropped his eyes and then looked back up at her again. “I have no idea where Yvonne and the kids are now. I wrote to her family in San Diego, but they wouldn’t even contact me.”
“Oh, darling! I’ll help you find them. Please stop crying and come to bed!” Jenna put her arms around him, holding him until he was calm. He gratefully laid her back in bed, stretching out beside her. The anxiety that had plagued him after his release was slowly dissipating, but he still sometimes felt as if his nerves were exposed.
“You don’t know how special you are,” he whispered. “In just a few short weeks, you changed my whole life!”
“No, darling Lucas!” She shook her finger at him. “You changed your life! I just gave you an opportunity.”
CHAPTER 5
“Jenna! Are you crazy?” Her brother Phil was raging. She had told him about Lucas on the telephone and he was at her house a few minutes later. “He’s an ex-con, for Christ’s sake! He could steal you blind or even kill you!”
“Wasn’t it Christ who told us to be kind to those in prison?” she gently chided Phil. He shook his head, saying she didn’t know what she was doing.
“You can’t see him anymore!”
“See him? I’m going to marry him!” Jenna said. She sucked in her breath and stood up. Lucas was standing behind Phil with a questioning look on his face.
“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Lucas said, holding out his hand. The handsome man, standing there with an open smile on his face, took Phil aback. There were no prison tats or scars and he was clean-shaven. Phil reluctantly took Lucas’ hand.
“Lucas Dawson.”
“I’m Phil Morgan, Jenna’s brother.”
“Oh, the one with the two little boys! I’ve heard about Jenna’s nephews,” Lucas said, laughing. Phil was unable to process the sight of the man that his sister was in love with. He didn’t fit his preconceived notion of what an ex-con looked like. “I’m going to go now,” he said as he backed toward the door. He turned and swiftly left the house.
“Did you mean what you said, Jenna?” Lucas asked, coming to her and taking her by the shoulders. “I haven’t asked you yet, but I do want you to marry me! Phil didn’t talk you out of loving me, did he?” He grinned and then bent his head for a kiss. He was surprised when Jenna threw her arms around his neck.
“I didn’t mean to rush you, but I wanted to make him understand that I’m serious about being in love with you!” She kissed his face all over and then stood back to look at him.
He dropped on one knee and took her hand. “I have nothing to give you, not even a ring, but I love you and want you to marry me!”
“Don’t say it’s nothing,” she chided him. “You and your sweet love are all I need.”
CHAPTER 6
They had a simple wedding with a justice of the peace outside the courthouse under the huge pine trees. Lucas had been able to save enough money to buy plain wedding bands that they exchanged. He insisted on paying for the license and even thought to get a bouquet of yellow roses for Jenna.
At the house, friends and family gathered later to have a potluck dinner. The house was full of music and laughter. Even Phil seemed to have a good time, although he did pull Lucas aside and threaten him if he hurt Jenna.
“Hey, man, I understand! I’d feel the same way if I were you. I just want you to know that I love Jenna and all I want to do is keep her happy and safe!” Phil had seemed satisfied with that and went back to the refreshment table to keep his sons from taking all the cookies.
After Lucas had been back in the house for a month, Jenna came home one night to find a police cruiser in her driveway. She went up to the porch and found two officers waiting for her. They were a Muff and Jeff of a pair, one tall and gangly, the other short and square.
“What can I do for you?” she asked after they introduced themselves.
The taller man said, ” Can we come in? We’d like to ask you a few questions about your husband.”
“Lucas? What is it?” Jenna wondered if something had happened to him.
At the look in her eyes, the shorter man said, “He’s fine, ma’am. But there have been thefts in the neighborhood and we’d like to look around.”
“Thefts…” looking at their impassive faces, her heart sank when she thought of what Lucas would say when he arrived. “By all means, look anywhere you want. We have nothing to hide.” The two policemen started searching the house and then went to the garage. Lucas came home, walking from the bus stop, and was not pleased to find the police there.
“What do they want?” he asked Jenna, looking over her head at the pair in the garage. The wary look was back in his eyes and he felt panic rising again.
“Don’t worry, Lucas!” Jenna touched his cheek. “They are investigating some thefts in the area and of course, you would be first on their list.” His eyes were smoldering, but he managed to keep his temper while the policemen went out in the back yard to check the shed.
“Mr. Dawson?” The taller of the two officers came back to talk to Jenna and Lucas.
“Yes, sir.” Lucas responded crisply.
“Thank you for letting us search without a warrant, sir. I’m sorry to have bothered you, ma’am. I just have to ask you if you have a storage unit in town.”
Jenna assured him that they didn’t and waited while the two men got in the car and drove away.
“Shit! I’ll never live it down!” Lucas was angry, pacing the driveway.
“No, probably not. You have a record, so you have to expect things like this. It’s always the usual suspects.”
Jenna came to squeeze his hand comfortingly. He brought it to his lips and whispered, “If you’re the only one who believes in me, that’s enough!”
CHAPTER 7
Lucas brought the groceries in through the garage and put them on the kitchen counter. He could hear the TV in the living room and he went in, finding his wife asleep on the couch. Normally she would have been getting dinner ready, but he noticed she had seemed very tired lately and he was worried she was coming down with something.
He went quietly back into the kitchen, putting the food away and starting a simple spaghetti dinner. When it was ready, he went back to Jenna with two glasses of wine.
Jenna woke to find her husband lying on her, waking her with his sweet, gentle kisses. “Mm mm,” she hummed appreciatively. Looking up at him with a twinkle in her blue eyes, she said slyly, “You wouldn’t rape a pregnant woman, would you?”
“Yummmm!” he murmured against her lips. Lifting his head, he whispered, “I’ll do anything you like. I don’t think I know any pregnant….” He stopped and raised himself on his elbows. Staring down into her eyes, he whispered, “Baby, are you pregnant?”
She had expected jubilation or at least a big grin, but the tears started and he was crying as he kissed her face all over.
“Lucas, I thought you’d be happy about this!” She pushed him back to stare up at him.
“Happy? That is a poor word for what I’m feeling right now! Baby, you just made me the happiest man in the world! But, it reminds me of when the twins were born and it makes me sad, too!”
“We’re not going to give up looking for them just because I’m pregnant!” Jenna cupped his face with her hands. They had been making phone calls and writing letters to people in San Diego. Lucas was learning how to use the Internet to research his ex-wife’s whereabouts.
“Oh, gosh! I can’t be lying on you like this!” Lucas tried to jump up, but she held his arms and wrapped her legs around him.
“The doctor said whatever I’m used to doing is fine,” she said. “I’m used to this! Don’t you start treating me like a China doll, now!”
He settled back down and then took a sip of wine. Kissing her, he grinned mischievously. “You can’t drink, but you can have a taste! What do you say we skip dinner?”
“Absolutely not!” She sniffed the air. “I smell spaghetti and I am eating for two, so get it on the table!”
Lucas chuckled and got up reluctantly, helping her up off the couch. Pulling her tightly against him, he whispered, “Your dinner awaits, madam! Afterwards, dessert will be served in the bedroom!
CHAPTER 8
Lucas got out of bed reluctantly, quickly donning the new robe Jenna had bought for him. She insisted he get up first thing on Christmas morning and collect his stocking that she had hung on the fireplace mantel. He loved her childlike joy in the Holiday season and wished he had been able to buy her more than a new scarf and a bottle of her favorite perfume.
Stumbling into the living room, he shivered in the soft plush terry robe and turned up the heat. They didn’t use the fireplace because Jenna had a propane heater installed when she moved into the house.
He turned to the mantel, looking at the long wool sock she had hung for him. Empty and alone last night, it was now bulging and full with a candy cane sticking out of the top. His eyes suddenly filled with tears as he thought of his mother hanging a similar stocking every Christmas for her “baby boy”.
She had called him that until her much too early death when he was 15. His dad wallowed in grief and the whisky bottle, frequently slapping Lucas around when he was particularly irritated. The boy left home, falling in with a bad crowd. He married too young and had not even spent one Christmas with his twin girls when he went to prison.
“Lucas, darling!” Jenna called from the bedroom. He shook off the tears, thinking how much he had been blessed by his beautiful wife, now starting to show in her fourth month of pregnancy.
Taking the stocking, he went back in the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching out to caress her curly hair, he bent to kiss her forehead.
“What is all this?” he laughed. He poured the contents of the wool sock on the bed, finding walnuts and tangerines, chocolate candy kisses, a new rollerball pen and a small box with a tiny screwdriver set inside. Paper was stuffed in the toe.
“Thank you, baby!” He bent to kiss Jenna’s lips. She reached up to cup his face and said, “I don’t think you got it all!”
“No, that’s it. There’s just some tissue paper stuffed in the toe.”
“Santa does not use tissue paper in Christmas stockings!” She grinned up at him.
Shrugging, he stuck his hand in and pulled out the balled-up paper. Lucas smoothed it out and started to read. He gasped and stood up, holding the paper out in front of him. He finally caught his breath and looked down at Jenna.
“My ex-wife’s address! I had given up on that. How did you find her?” He suddenly sat down as if his legs were weak.
“I sold that stock my parents left me and hired a private detective. It only took him a couple of weeks to track her down. Apparently, it’s pretty easy if you had the right information.”
“No one has ever given me anything like this!” Lucas lay down beside her, not caring that he was lying on tangerines and walnuts. “I have nothing to give you! I never have had and maybe I never will!” He cradled Jenna against his shoulder.
“Darling Lucas!” She caressed his shaggy blond hair. “You gave me a baby and that is a miracle all by itself! I told you before that all I need is you. Merry Christmas, my love!”
The End