How well exactly do the programs that match people’s interest to the spam they sent out function? I mean, at least I assume that is how spam and junk mail operates. We (or perhaps just I) are lead to believe that the places you shop online, and websites you go to, sell your likes and purchase trends to other places that let their customers know that they should send their junk advertising to your email address. Perhaps this is some kind of conspiracy theory idea on the omnipotence of the internet, but nonetheless, that is how I choose to believe the whole evil empire of the internet is set up. It is full of spyware and viruses designed to know our minds and spy on us. Call me naive, but there you are. My argument is, however, that they actually don’t appear to have a darn clue. Allow me to elucidate.
I am a white, 36 year old, Australian living in Washington State (Richland, not the fancy Western part). I’m basically an atheist. I am a married and monogamous male, currently studying for a Masters degree (thus I already have a bachelor’s degree), have excellent credit and never respond to any junk emails or fill out any surveys. I already have a job working for a personal injury lawyer, own a home and have a car that I’m very happy with. I have no fetishes that I have ever publicized online. I have not purchased or downloaded any porn, whips, handcuffs or other questionable implements, and have not enquired into the possibilities of scoring myself a Russian bride. I’m also happy to say that I have never had any trouble achieving and maintaining an erection. My internet activities involve checking my email, following Australian sports and doing some entirely unsexy research for my International Relations degree and even less sexy research into various soft tissue injuries or the side effects of drugs prescribed to my clients for work.
So my question is this, why on Earth do I receive, on a daily basis, emails advertising the following, in no particular order of absurdity or irrelevance:
Private jets.
Men’s supplements.
Cialis, Viagra and More!
Jewish dating.
Christian mingle.
Black dating.
Big beautiful women.
Cougar dating.
Credit fix.
Start Ultrasound training now!
Medical coding classes.
Senior people meet. (really?)
Match.com, Zoosk, Plenty of Fish and countless other junk mails from dating sites that I have already deleted and can’t remember right now. Not to mention the offers for credit cards I don’t need, opportunities to apply for levels of education I’ve long since achieved, and coupons for junk food I don’t eat, from restaurants I have never been into, and as such have never provided with any form of personal information. Then there are the ones that thank me for responding to things that I swear on my mother’s life that I have never responded to. I don’t get it. Is the internet blind? Is it operating on a far more random basis than I have given it credit for? Honestly, there really seems as if no research has gone into the targeting of me has occurred at all.
Don’t get me wrong, I am more amused than bothered by the majority of it, but I’m still curious as to the basis of it. Heck, I’ve even been tempted to check out the talent on Senior people meet, just haven’t actually been drunk enough while online to do it. Probably for the best really.