Does Family Really Mean Togetherness?

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin

So it’s the Holiday season and it’s that time of year again, where you have to get together with

Family, just hearing those words Family and Holidays put together, makes me think of the door

bell ringing, in the National Lampoons Christmas Vacation movie, where it sounds like that deep

terrible scary ring and you can hear on the other side of the door, the family arguing and then you open

the door and at first, they’re so friendly and happy to see you and then the chaos begins.. So if your

Family is anything like my family hearing Holidays and Family together, can be a little scary, so

this year, I decided that the only thing I truly want for Christmas, is a peaceful, Non-Stressful

Holiday and I’m sure your saying easier said than done but I really think this year is the year,

that it’s going to work and I will tell you how I will make it happen and how I came to the

conclusions of making it work.

First I thought about how the Holidays are stressful enough without the Families being in the equation, as

you have decorating for the Holidays, shopping for the Holidays, untangling the lights, stringing them

outside and then after all that work, you find out one light doesn’t work and the whole thing goes out, so

you end up just buying new lights and you put them out and it looks beautiful and you enjoy the

decorations, till the next year of course, where you will start all over again, with the stress of decorating,

untangling the lights again and finding out yet again, that the one bulb is out and ruins the whole thing

but we press on.. So with this, I thought of Family.. Add them into this equation and they’re like those

untangled lights, as we go through every year getting ready to share this Holiday with the people we love

and care about, only to find out that it isn’t always beautiful at first, like when that one bulb goes out

causing everything to not work, just like that one family member who is like that broken bulb, causing all

the havoc and they might not even realize, that they’re doing anything, because they have gotten away

with it, all these years by you and your family or maybe they do realize it but they just don’t care and

this is where the change comes in, just like getting a new set of bulbs, except with family it’s not

that easy, to just get a new set of relatives but you can change the way you react to these kind

relatives. Often times we allow the reactions of others to get the best of us, which causes us

stress and anxiety. As we cannot change these relatives per sey, like we can the light bulbs but by

changing our way of thinking and reactions towards them, may in the end actually change how

they treat you. I’m not saying this is a fast process or will be an easy one, as these people will

not like the way you react at first, because it’s not what they’re use to but it will make it less

stressful on you, because you’re not reacting like you once were. You’re not falling for their

guilt trips, there put downs or taking how when they say they’re disappointed in you, as a true

meaning, because they don’t mean what they say, they’re just mad, because you’re not doing

what they want but for you taking a deep breath and releasing and just taking this all with a grain

of salt will make you less stressful. You will have an open mind and just concentrate on having

a nice Holiday, because you’re not falling into their chaos. I actually started these exercises

before the holiday and so far changing the way I react, has helped me to cope with the upcoming

Holidays but as for my family it’s taking them awhile to get use the new me but I’m looking

forward to a stress free- holiday.

I hope these suggestions help you, to have a nice Holiday as well and hopefully for now on, the words

Family and Holidays together will bring a smile to our faces instead of making us cringe. Good Luck &

Happy Holidays!!!


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