I was feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope. I was procrastinating. I was sinking into the cycle of negative self-talk and complete shutdown which would lead to days of depression.
This had become a familiar cycle. After my husband passed away I just couldn’t seem to get motivated. I would look at my to do list which had grown from notes on a small memo pad to numerous pages in a large spiral notebook. Just looking at the to do list would stop me dead in my tracks. I felt so useless.
I would go to work, I attended grief therapy and I took medication for depression. However, I still couldn’t get motivated. I would get home and see the to do list. It was a growing problem; a burden.
One day I looked at a photograph of my late husband. I remembered his spirit and his drive even though he had been ill the last twelve years of his life.
I remembered how he had always gotten something done during the day. Then I remembered he never kept a to do list. He would write down doctor’s appointments, make grocery lists or jot down something unusual like a birthday or anniversary date, but he never had a to do list.
Throw Out the To Do List
I grabbed my to do list and threw it away! I realized it was just another form of negative self-talk. I went into another room and grabbed a small memo book. I wrote on the cover, “Ta Done List.” My first entry was, “threw away to do list.”
If you procrastinate or suffer from depression, chances are you don’t need a to do list. You likely wake up worrying about the to do list. You beat yourself up over the to do list. It is negative.
Start a Ta Done List
Initially, jot down everything you’ve done during the day. When I first started, I even wrote down that I got up, got dressed and went to work. See, already three things were done.
Your Ta Done List is a Positive Affirmation
I found my ta done list made me feel good. My thinking began to change. Instead of thinking, “I have to get gas,” which would be a chore. I found myself thinking, “look, there’s the gas station. I’ll do that and I can put it on the ta done list.” It seemed more like a game than a chore. On bad days, and you’ll still have some of those, I use my ta done list to lift my spirits.
Break the Procrastination and Depression Cycle
My ta done list now has a few items I have to remember to do, but they are items outside my normal routine. I no longer need to write down that I got up and got dressed.
I write down that I went to the movies, planted a new plant in my garden or packed for a trip. Instead of a mounting list of obligations, I have a brief daily journal.
I am not a doctor, I have personally struggled with these problems. I’ve discovered my ta done list is a useful tool. It helps me with self-motivation. I find I actually do more than I used too, but I don’t feel overwhelmed or unable to cope. I find it fun to see what I can add to the list. As a result, I do more, feel less stress and I sleep better at night.