If you plan to host a dinner party it is your responsibility to ensure each guest enjoys the meal. Creating the menu for an intimate party with close friends isn’t a problem; you already know about any food sensitivities, proclivities and allergies.
The menu may be problematic, though, if your guests are new friends or business acquaintances. You may be unaware of any special dietary conditions, be they a lifestyle choice or a medical or religious requirement. With today’s heightened awareness of food allergies, intolerances and other special dietary needs, it’s a necessary part of dinner party etiquette to meet the gastronomic needs of your guests.
It Starts with the Invitation
When you send out the invitations, include a notation asking the recipient to please inform you of any dietary requirements. You could also include a brief description of the menu, so the recipient knows what kind of meal you’re planning to serve.
Your notation may read, “We want you to enjoy your meal with us, so please let me know of any special dietary needs you may have, or foods you cannot eat. We’re serving halibut with a Spanish almond sauce.”
Your guest may call and say he is a vegetarian, so fish is not on the menu for him. He may call and say he is allergic to nuts, so your entree may send him into anaphylactic shock. Because you were forewarned, though, you neither left a guest to select from side dishes only nor sent him to the hospital.
Adjusting the Menu
If your guest is vegetarian, you can add another entree that complements your fish dinner, such as a pasta dish.
If your guest is at risk due to food allergies, where even exposure to it may result in a severe reaction, adjust the menu. Instead of halibut with Spanish almond sauce, serve halibut with a dill sauce.
Asking a Guest to Bring a Dish
The point of hosting a dinner party is to serve your guests a lovely meal prepared by you (or at least overseen by you, should you choose to cater). Asking a guest to bring a dish to anything other than a potluck supper is bad manners.
If the guest offers to bring a dish due to his singular dietary needs, accept graciously, and suggest he bring enough for everyone to sample his culinary contribution. Be warned, though, that there’s a risk to this. If his dish is at odds with your menu or just plain tastes bad, it may lead to a bit of awkwardness in the evening’s festivities.
Instead, ask for a suggested entree and if it is something you can make, let the guest know you’re more than happy to add it to the menu and all he need bring is his wit and charm.
Resources:
Bon Appetit
WebMd
Emily Post
Further Reading:
Keeping Kids with Food Allergies Safe At School
Creating Artistic Table Settings
Five Essential Tools for Your Kitchen