Can Porn Bunker Really Survive End of the World?

by on March 8th, 2015
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COMMENTARY | Apparently if the apocalypse occurs, what remains of the world will not lack for porn stars. That is the plan of a San Fernando Valley porn studio that has built a hardened bunker for its employees and some customers.

The bunker will have a lot of amenities, including well-stocked bars and facilities for maintaining a porn industry after the collapse of civilization. It will be fortified against all sorts of catastrophes, including “–fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above,” reports CBS Los Angeles.

The exact location of the porn bunker is being kept a secret, for obvious reasons.

One is reminded of a recent Dilbert comic strip that ran when it seemed the debt ceiling controversy might sink the world economy. Dilbert was ruminating how he had prepared for the coming end of the world by stocking up on canned goods, MREs, and other supplies. A coworker replied that she was prepared as well: with a gun and directions to Dilbert’s house.

Imagine, therefore, the world has come to an end and the highways of California are filled with gangs out of the movie “Road Warrior.” Imagine where those gangs would go.

You got it: A bunker full of porn stars, well-stocked bars, supplies, and no doubt its own power source would be a road warrior magnet. The only thing that might save the bunker, aside from the sudden appearance of Mel Gibson, would be the gangs would likely fight one another for the privilege of descending upon the porn bunker like Genghis Khan’s Golden Horde.

In fact, the whole scenario cries out for a movie. It would have both sex and violence.

On the other hand, one does not think any bunker is going to be impervious to an “all-seeing deity,” especially one from a faith that looks down on orgies for fun and profit. Oddly enough, nuclear war, worldwide plague, and President Obama getting reelected are not scenarios that are mentioned that the porn bunker is hardened against. That’s too bad. There should be one island at least of civilization, albeit the more decedent era of Ancient Rome, if the world really does go to hell.

Source: LA Porn Studio Begins Construction On ‘Post-Apocalyptic’ Underground Bunker, CBS News LA, Sept. 14, 2011


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