“And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things? And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house. And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.” Matthew 13:54-58, King James Version
When I worked as a home-health care provider many years ago, I would sometimes be astounded by how impatient family members could be with an elderly parent or grandparent. How could they be so short-tempered with that sweet little old person? Recently, I think I gained some insight into their behavior.
I was trying to help my mother get dressed. The process became more frustrating because a sinus attack made it difficult for me to bend over long enough to put her socks on her feet. She was slow in lifting her foot toward me. I leaned over, grabbed her foot and pulled it toward me, annoyed that my head began pounding again before I had the socks in place.
That’s when I heard it. That voice that I’ve come to recognize as God tapping me on the shoulder.
“Is not this the carpenter’s son?” Isn’t this that skinny kid of Mary’s, Jesus? Don’t we know his brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles? The people who had known Jesus as a child were blinded to His adult mission. They couldn’t see beyond what they remembered to what was there now.
“Okay, Lord, I get that, but how does that help with Mama?” And then I realized that the memory of the robust, tough mother I once knew was blinding me to the present needs of this frail little lady. Mama wasn’t trying to move more slowly, or cause me problems by not lifting her foot. I was the problem, building expectations on the past instead of dealing with the present.
The challenge comes in discerning what the change means and loving the person, even when we can’t love the situation. How can we accept the present and put aside the past? I only know one way – give it to God. I wish my mother didn’t need round-the-clock care, and that she could be strong again, but I love her. I pray for the wisdom to comprehend her current condition and the strength to provide the help she needs.
In the final analysis, God is the One who can perform a litmus test on the soul and identify truth.
Will you use this New Year as a new start to your relationships? Ask God for wisdom to see the true present in those around you and to veil the past where it would only interfere with the relationship. He can see what we cannot.
Father, thank You for the present. Help us to live in today. Help us to learn from yesterday but not be crippled by it. Give us faith, joy and strength to move forward in our love for You. Amen.