2012 Parenting Resolutions

Many of us make our New Year’s resolutions, and my wife and I are no different. As I sat down to make my own list, I broke down my resolutions into categories. For one category, I chose resolutions that relate to raising my son. He will turn 12 early in the year, which means the teenage years will follow soon after. Peer pressure grows during this time, and I want to prepare all three of us for these years. We vow to make ourselves available for our son in a number of ways.

Spend more time with my wife and son

Working multiple jobs made me miserable and irritable as my wife would attest. Since giving up the extra work, I have become happier, and I do not get upset quite as easily. I have spent more time with my wife and son, and nothing can replace that. We have learned to manage our money well, so we do just fine without the extra income. This leaves us all with more free time to enjoy together. We play games at home, play at Dave and Busters, or enjoy other activities. We eat out some just to get out of the house and share our daily news with each other. In addition, we take advantage of our vacation club to travel as much as we can. We have already booked four trips throughout the year, and we will book a few more as the times approach.

Talk more about serious matters

As our son approaches his teens, the peer pressure will soon begin to mount. He will learn things about drugs, alcohol, and girls that we do not want him to learn. Therefore, it is our job to make sure that he learns the right things about these topics. We have him in a Christian school and keep him active in youth ministry, but we do not depend solely on the pastors and teachers to do our job for us.

As these topics become more and more real to our son, we will have to talk to him about the dangers of each. We have already discussed alcohol in detail with him, and I have mentioned a little about drugs. I know that I will have to discuss drugs with him much more in-depth before long. The talk about girls and sex will also soon arise – faster than I might think. I have to start preparing and praying now for the right words to say.

Keep our son physically active

We have discussed the physical benefits of staying active and not spending all of his time on the couch or the computer. We constantly look for ways to keep him active so he can have fun, exercise, stay in shape, and build memories. We have a rule that our son must play sports. We let him decide which ones, but he must play something. We also have him play outside with the neighborhood kids or help out with the yard work. Doing some of these things with him keeps him motivated to stay active and gives us the needed physical exercise as well. It also reverts to spending more time with each other.

Available to talk about his troubles

Our son does not like to speak up to us about things that bother him, but when he does, we both need to make sure that we listen – not just hear but actively listen to him. For example, he will tell me about some things that may happen at school but not give much detail. One day in early 2011, though, as we pulled out to drive home, I could tell that something bothered him. It took a while to get it out of him, but he finally told me. Some older kids had attacked him and a friend on the playground, so he got into a fight and was worried that he would get into trouble at school and with us. I turned the car around and drove back to school to discuss the matter with the principal. My son turned out fine in the matter. My wife and I can now use this example to let him know that we can help him only when he talks to us and that we will do what we can for his benefit.

In preparation

We both know that as our son grown into and through his teen years, many more discussions will arise. We want to prepare for them while we can so we can reduce the surprises. Beginning with these resolutions, we can look ahead and prepare as much as we can.

More from this contributor:

Setting Strong Positive Examples for Our Son

Teaching Our Son to Eat Healthy

Letting Our Son Help Make Some Family Decisions


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