I doubt that there are many among us who have not faced the death of a beloved pet. This loss can be even more devastating than the loss of a fellow human being. To that end, i humbly offer you the following list of ways to work thru the deepest pain known to humankind.
1. Please understand that nothing you did, or did not do, caused the death of your pet.. Be assured that it was your pet’s “time to go”, no matter what the circumstances.
2. Forgive yourself for whatever failings you believe you are guilty of. Your pet has already forgiven you; they understand much more than we do.
3. Be grateful for the time you had together. Write your pet a letter, thanking them for all that they taught you, and all the joy that they brought you.
4. Talk about your pet to people who understand what you are going thru. And keep talking until you can do it without breaking down into a million pieces. These happy memories are your way of honoring the life you spent together.
5. Cry, as often as you need to. Tears are the way we cleanse our grief from our bodies, hearts and minds, leaving only the love behind.
6. Pay special attention to your children, as well as your remaining pets. They grieve differently than adults, but they do grieve. Allow them that. Talk to them about the loss and encourage them to talk about the pet.
7. Create some sort of memorial where you can honor your pet by praying for them, or doing whatever else feels right to you. This can be a backyard grave or just a collage of your favorite pictures of the two of you. (www.petloss.com has a Monday night candle ceremony for all those interested)
8. Understand that grieving takes time. Some days you may feel guilty about how good you feel. Other days you won’t want to get out of bed. This can go on for several months and, just when you think you’ve gotten past the worst of it, something can come up that tears your heart out anew, like a holiday, a birthday or seeing someone else with a new puppy. Be gentle with yourself.
9. Please don’t rush out to get a “replacement” pet right away. While this may fill the physical hole left by the loss of your pet, it can also cause you untold guilt, as well as delay your grieving process.
10. Finally, honor your grief. Understand that the deeper you loved your pet, the deeper the pain will be. You don’t stop loving someone just because they have died. You are not “crazy” for grieving your pet so hard. And you do not need to “get over it”. You need to absorb it, to allow it to aid in the growth of your soul. These beautiful creatures volunteered to come here and guide us with their love. Feel that in your very being. You are loved still.