Tales from the Sky

The funniest things happen on an airplane. In my years of flying, there was rarely a time I returned from a trip without at least one outrageous story. Sit back, relax and enjoy the tales below.

Am I done yet? While working on the beverage cart, I felt a “poke” on my behind. I turned around a saw an elderly passenger smiling at me. I asked if she had just poked me with her fork, and she said that she had. I could just picture her poking a roast the same way to see if it was thoroughly cooked! She explained that she was trying to get my attention because she wanted something to drink. The cart was only two rows in front of her, but she couldn’t wait. Guess she never thought of “Excuse me.” Do something with this bag. Boarding is always a hectic time, especially in first class. We’re trying to hang coats, offer beverages and watch everyone as they board the aircraft. On one particularly full flight, a passenger came to the first class galley and threw his bag on the floor. “I can’t find overhead space for this. Do something with it,” he said. My co-worker smiled as nice as could be and said she would take care of it. I was amazed that she didn’t lose her cool and told her so when she returned from checking the bag. She then explained that she checked the bag to Boston … our flight was going to Los Angeles! Lavatory vs. coat closet. During a flight from Hawaii to the mainland, we had a passenger who had quite a few alcoholic drinks. This flight is an all-nighter and notorious for interesting events during the night. This particular passenger needed to use the lavatory and headed to the back of the plane. He didn’t make it all the way back and took a turn at the rear coat closet. Thinking he was at the lavatory, he opened the door to the closet and proceeded to relieve himself. We quickly directed him to the lavatory but not before some coats got a bit wet. Cleaning voucher anyone? Fear of flying over water. On another Hawaii flight (See a pattern?), there was a passenger who was afraid to fly over water. Hawaii probably wasn’t the best place for him to go! This gentleman wanted to wear his life vest for the entire eight-hour flight. We explained that wasn’t necessary, but he insisted. Not only did he wear the vest, but he inflated it as well! If you’ve ever worn one of these vests, you know how high they inflate. You couldn’t see his neck at all, and his head was held at an awkward angle. He tried to each lunch and have a drink, but the life vest prevented that from happening. What a terrible way to travel for eight hours! Where’s the pilot? Now, I’ll tell on myself. It was my first international trip, and I was still getting comfortable with all the procedures and the much larger aircraft. When one of the pilots came back for his rest, I offered him an ice cream sundae. Pilots never turn down ice cream, so he was thrilled. I offered to make it and bring it to him in the crew rest area so he wouldn’t waste any of his rest time. After making the perfect sundae, I went into the crew rest area but could not find the pilot. I waited a few minutes thinking he might have stopped at the lavatory. When he didn’t show up, I walked up and down the aircraft looking for him. It is the middle of the night, and I can’t find our pilot anywhere. My imagination started running away with me, and I was scared a “bad guy” had knocked out the pilot, stolen his clothes, and was headed back in the cockpit (this is post 9/11). I frantically called the cockpit and announced that I couldn’t find the resting pilot anywhere. With a bit of a chuckle, the captain asked if I had checked the pilot crew rest area. There were separate rest areas? Why hadn’t anyone told me that? Of course, I check there and find the missing pilot. Needless to say, I fixed him another perfect sundae as the first one was melted. I’m not sure which he enjoyed more, the treat or the laugh he got from me!

A career in the sky…there’s nothing like it!


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