Years ago no one would ever have thought that commercial airlines would become bombs. As a child I was hesitant to fly but it was not because the plane would be flown on purpose to its destruction and to the destruction of buildings and lives. I was somewhat nervous about flying because in my childhood reasoning, a metal object as big and heavy as a plane could not logically stay in the air. However I saw them flying over regularly and grew to believe that they were safe.
How many times thru out life are we confronted with shattered images of what we thought was the way things were as a child? For instance, all my life I loved trees. As a child I found trees to be sturdy and safe and secure. I saw them as a friend. They provided me with shade and a back rest, a climbing gym and a swing. Then a year ago last August a tree killed my brother. Now I look at trees with distrust. How do I or you know when the next tree will take a life? Just a few weeks ago a man was killed by a tree near my community. I have large trees in my yard and ever since my brother was killed, while camping when a microburst caused a tree to fall on him, I have looked at my large pines with doubt. Now there is this second death close to my home. The truth is that during hurricanes, tornados, and windstorms people die from trees.
The shattering of my trust in trees gave me cause to reflect and I wrote this poem–
Betrayed
You were my friend when I was three
Sitting on the grass in your shade,
I loved looking up at you tree,
The breeze in your leaves music made.
A child at school and all alone
There were few who would befriend me,
But on the days that the sun shone,
You sheltered me as a friend tree.
A fine rope swing on lazy day
Gave me great fun and enjoyment
Twas as if I could fly away
Days with you tree I still lament.
Learning, I walked amongst your kind
Seeking true wisdom and guidance,
Hoping from amongst you I’d find
The right paths in life I might chance.
I admired you and so I planted,
Cultured others like you to grow,
To you I was dedicated
Watering the seedlings in row.
Included you tree in the picture,
On the day in which I was wed,
Of your loyalty I was sure,
At your root I would lay my head.
Then in a sudden harsh moment,
You… (I’m shocked twas you)… took one dear,
How could you cause me such torment,
Betrayed by you tree… now I fear.
Why tree… why cause me such anguish?
What have you done… you can’t give back,
You took a life… oh how I wish…
I wish you hadn’t…
Just as the tree that killed my brother shattered my trust in all trees, 9-11 has shattered our trust in the people of Islam. I know that all trees will not fall and kill. Still I am wary. To put it in proper perspective we must remember that all people of the Islamic faith are not terrorists.
For now I must look at each tree independently and determine if they pose a risk to me or not. There are two very large trees in my front yard that definitely pose such a risk and though I have enjoyed their shade for many years they will have to be replaced with a new small tree. As I heal from the loss of my brother, and as the country heals from the many lives lost thru terrorism, eventually trust will come back but our security belief system from our childhood will remain always changed.