Sexsomnia, also known as “sleep sex” or “sex behavior in sleep”-SBS, is one of a number of “parasomnias” or sleep disorders listed in the International Classification of Sleep Disorders. However, the disorder is not specifically listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-Fourth Edition, TR. Sexsomnia, although not often talked about, is rather common and occurs in about 1% of the population (Psychology Today website).
During an episode of sexsomnia, a person is not fully in a conscious condition. Thus, women with sexsomnia probably won’t know they display vocal sounds of sexual stimulation and might evidence masturbation or even have sex with her bed partner.
Men experiencing an episode of sexsomnia will touch and sometimes have sex with their female partners in the bed with no recall of the incident the next day (Psychology Today website). However, some individuals of both sexes have reported experiencing orgasms during a sexsomnia incident. People suffering from sexsomnia usually have no memory of the events and will often deny the incidents occurred.
Interestingly, people exhibiting sexsomnia tend to have other serious sleep-related problems such as eating or driving while asleep. Other risk factors for sleep sex include being deprived of sleep, drinking alcohol before bed and not sleeping well due to sleep apnea. A history of more common sleep disorders as children may also be present, like night terrors, sleepwalking or wetting the bed.
Sexsomnia’s Impact on Relationships
Some of you out there might be thinking, “Okay, I can deal with a partner who’s got this sleep sex problem. It might even be fun.” The fact is that sexsomnia wreaks havoc in relationships. Although it might be enjoyable when a relationship is new, it rapidly becomes old.
Partners end up not getting proper sleep due to be awakened all the time by their partner’s sexual behaviors. A person with sexsomnia isn’t conscious of what he’s doing so when partners refuse or say, “Stop doing that,” the person experiencing a sleep sex incident doesn’t actually respond.
Furthermore, sleep sex can chip away at any possible trust in the relationship because either:
–the partner who has the disorder isn’t aware of it and doesn’t believe it when his partner complains about what’s happening (Sleepsex website) or
–whenever the partner who has it is honest about having the disorder, the other partner doesn’t “buy it” and thinks the person is just using sexsomnia as an excuse to have sex all the time.
Partners eventually grow tire of having to deal with someone who suffers from the disorder and thus, end the relationship.
Treatment for Sexsomnia
Doctors treat sex behavior in sleep with medications, specifically nighttime benzodiazepines, such as clonazepam (Klonopin), diazepam (Valium) or lorazepam (Ativan), according to the Lakeside Press website. Also, for those diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea, providing a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure or CPAP machine to use at night will usually bring an end to the SBS behaviors.
In the event you or your partner is exhibiting signs of sexsomnia, talk to your doctor to explore the treatment alternatives. There is help for this rather unorthodox sleep disorder.
Sources
Lakeside Press website, “Sexsomnia (Sleep Sex)” by Lawrence Martin
Professional experience
Psychology Today website, “Sleepless in America: Sexsomnia” by John Kline
Sleepsex website