Porn, Lava and the Westboro Baptist Church: Apple’s Most Bizarre Moments of 2011

Westboro Baptist Church vs. Cupertino

We could subtitle this the “Steve Jobs” edition, his death in October gave rise to any number of oddball tributes and events. The most disturbing? The hateful/crazy congregation of Westboro Baptist Church staged a series of protests in an attempt to mar Jobs memorials held in Apple’s home town on Oct. 19. The Kansas-based group announced via iPhone that they would stage a hate fest. True to form, they held up their nasty banners outside the Apple campus and at Cupertino High but were met with counter protesters determined not to let them ruin the day.

The fall, and rise again of FaceTime adult services. Apple’s desire to keep their devices G-rated hasn’t stopped adult chat services from trying. But iP4Play, the first company to launch a porn chat service over FaceTime went bust this year, citing low FaceTime adoption.

That didn’t stop another come-hither chat service,UK-based Saucytime from tossing its G-string into the arena in November. Can a virtual lapdance service last longer on FaceTime than this slinky rendition of “How Mable Get Sable Cha Cha Cha?” We’ll let you know.

Apple employees team up with police to track another lost prototype, get sued. This story is harder to follow than the latest Dr. Who series but here goes: another Apple employee reportedly lost an iPhone prototype, this time in San Francisco bar Cava. Two Apple security experts allegedly searched 22-year-old Sergio Calderon’s house, along with police, hoping to find the lost phone. The San Francisco Police Department has said two Apple employees searched Calderon’s home, car and computer while SFPD officers waited outside.

“My focus is primarily on Apple. I’m trying to figure out why Apple did this,” said Calderon’s lawyer David Monroe. The prototype hasn’t been recovered and a legal case is still pending.

Artist who hacked New York City Apple stores for a photo project under investigation by the Secret Service. 25-year-old Kyle McDonald, a digital artist who installed a program that secretly took photographs of people using the Macs at two New York City Apple Stores, had his own computers confiscated by the United States Secret Service. He may face criminal charges for installing a program that snapped pics on the sly at the West 14th Street and SoHo Apple Stores.

McDonald said his project was a statement on the way people become obliviated by machines.

“We have this expression on our face [when we use computers] that basically says that we’re not interacting with anybody, we’re interacting with the machine,” he said. “Even if there are a lot of people in the room at the Apple store, you’re not interacting with them. If something weird happens, you don’t say, ‘Hey, did you see that?’”

The iPad 2 vs. Lava. In a more extreme take on the microwaving, torching and shooting of Apple devices we’ve seen previously, this time from accessory maker ZooGue pits Apple’s iPad against hot lava. While the outcome is pretty darn predictable, watching that river of molten lava engulfing a man-made device has a decidedly primal appeal. What’s next – iPads cannonballed to their fiery demise in space?

Apple sidelines controversial DUI checkpoint apps from iTunes, kinda. Bowing to pressure from lawmakers after a U.S. senate hearing, Apple updated the review guidelines to sideline new apps that might be seen as aiding drunk drivers avoid getting caught by police. Some of the grandfathered apps are still available, as are a bunch of drinking games. Salut!

The iPad pinky ripper gets 25 years. 2011 brought an end (we sincerely hope) to the story of Brandon Smith, who ripped off part of Bill Jordan’s finger in a parking lot iPad robbery. Smith, 22, was sentenced to 25 years in prison. The Denver Post reported that Brandon Smith apologized to the victim, Bill Jordan, who did not appear in court for the sentencing hearing “because he fears for his life.” The scales looked weighted after Smith reportedly thought his theft case would go away if the victim was ‘eliminated.’


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