Obsessive behaviors occur when one is trying to make themselves feel better; it is a mechanism created by the need to sooth, compensate, or satiate an issue. The behavior is a way of trying to balance out an internal problem. It is an unconscious way of trying to take care of an unrecognized issue, for sometimes the need behind the behavior goes unnoticed, and therefore one is not able to cope with the real problem. Any kind of behavior that occurs over and over again because of a desire can be deemed obsessive. The desire can be strong or slight, but the need to do it feels necessary.
In order to feel better, one instigates the behavior and the need to feel better disappears, but only momentarily. If the underlying problem is not solved, the obsessive behavior will return. Letting go of these patterns can happen when one realizes the reason behind the behavior. Usually acknowledgement eases the need, but not always. Sometimes the issue stems from a deeper problem and one that needs to be looked at more closely. Imagine if you did not feel safe because of something that happened in your past, something you never really acknowledged, and yet still exists within you as a fear today? Anytime that feeling is triggered by either a small or large event, you may find yourself compensating with obsessive behaviors in order to feel better and inadvertently safer.
Unfortunately, no issue is solved by our patterns or behaviors, for nothing we do, other than coping with the real problem, will help us feel better. The behavior will be triggered by anything that feels similar to the core problem. What this means is, not only is someone dealing with an issue and its related occurrences, but they are also dealing with an obsessive behavior. It can be a cycle of need, desire, and unresolved contentedness. For no matter what one does, without purposefully acknowledging the problem, one will never feel better no matter how hard one tries. If you find yourself trying to feel better, look at what just happened; look at what you just felt or thought. Was it a trigger that caused you to seek comfort? Don’t look at how you are trying to feel better; look instead at what the trigger was. If it doesn’t make sense to you, pay attention to whenever you are trying to feel better by doing whatever it is you do.
Pay attention not to your response, but to what occurred just before it. It may be varied, but there will arise a pattern at some point. That pattern and the triggers point you to the real problem. You need to be objective because you may have developed ulterior triggers somewhat unrelated to the real problem. By encompassing all of the triggers, you will find the true problem that connects them all. If you look at what is happening and look at yourself internally, what feeling arises? What thoughts are projected into your mind? Connect the trigger to yourself; find the reason that initiated your responses. This is the real issue at hand, and not the obsessive behaviors that are caused by it. When you come to terms with why you began your behaviors, your behaviors themselves will be unnecessary.