Ending a relationship is never easy. Ending a relationship with someone who refuses to let you go can be very difficult…even dangerous. This is the all of the fuel that such a person needs to turn into a stalker, putting your emotional and physical well-being at risk.
One of the biggest mistakes that some people make when trying to end such a relationship is to prolong the inevitable. Their fear of how the other person is going to react keeps them from being honest. As a result, they end up stringing the person along. All this does is give the person false hope, and in the end that person will be even more upset.
What are some of the biggest fears in ending a relationship with a person who does not want to let you go?
-Fear of retaliation. This fear is a sound one. One of the most dangerous times in a separation is when one spouse finally decides to end the relationship for good. This is when the other person can easily go into a mode of retaliation. The old “If I can’t have her, nobody can” way of thinking can set in. If the person you are ending the relationship with has a history of mental instability or acute jealousy, be mindful and take extra caution when you do decide to end the relationship.
-Fear of being stalked. This is another sound fear. The partner who has been left behind will often wonder what you are up to, and figure that you must have found someone else. As a result, the person may follow you to work, sit outside of you home, call you and text message you numerous times.
-Fear of suicide. This is possibly one of the biggest fears. After all, how could you possibly live with yourself if your ex-partner chose to commit suicide because you left?
-Fear of sullying your reputation with family and friends. A person who has been left behind is usually a person who also refuses to accept any blame for the relationship having gone bad. Such a person can very easily go to family and friends, telling them your biggest faults and how they contributed to the demise of the marriage. It can be very easy to paint you as the “bad guy.”
All of the above fears are based on a certain amount of validity. Retaliation, being stalked, suicide, and the sullying of reputations all happen after a break up. Do they happen all the time? No. It will depend on your partner, and you probably know your partner better than anyone else. If you anticipate any of the above happening, however…don’t let that stop you from ending the relationship. An important truth is this: Your partner is going to do what your partner is going to do…regardless of whether or not you stay.
If your partner commits suicide, that means your partner is suicidal. It doesn’t mean you caused it. Chances are your partner would have committed suicide over something else in time. Committing suicide is a choice. So is the decision to live life and move forward.
If your partner tries to sully your reputation, remember this: Your reputation will not be sullied to anyone who truly knows you. As for the rest, who cares? Time will reveal your true character.
If your partner chooses to stalk you or seek revenge, there are measures you can take. You can get a restraining order against the person. Very often this is enough, and the person will stop rather than risk going to jail.
If you are in the process of ending a relationship, be fair to both you and your partner, and learn how to end it with dignity. Don’t string the person along. If you know deep in your heart you do not want to reunite, then be honest. It is something the person needs to know in order to move forward with his or her life.