Last you may have heard, Oprah Winfrey was wanting to host the 2012 Academy Awards. And, as the song goes, whatever Oprah wants, Oprah gets. Mayhaps Oprah did not want the hosting gig as much as she wanted the honorary Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. That, Oprah got. Now comes word that Eddie Murphy is the first choice of the guy in charge of the Oscar telecast for 2012.
Guy goes by the name of Brett Ratner. Had a little success directing three movies with “Rush Hour” in the title and recently took the X-Men to the head of the class (Though they lagged far behind “Thor” in terms of entertainment value.) Ratner has his eyes set on Eddie Murphy as the host of the Oscars and one can only guess why.
The facts, as the narrator on the late, great “Pushing Daisies” used to say, are these: Eddie Murphy’s career took a downward turn sometime around the late 90s and the only upside has been when he has been providing voice to a jackass. Eddie Murphy as host of the Academy Awards? Man, what a great idea that would have been…around 1983. Eddie Murphy hosting the 2012 Academy Awards?
Didn’t they already try the smart-assed, hip, jive black dude a few years ago? Guy goes by the name of Chris Rock. For about 200 million Americans he is the Eddie Murphy of today. For those 200 million Americans Eddie Murphy is the guy who makes really unfunny comedies and provides the voice of an animated jackass.
The worst kept secret in Hollywood is that the Academy Awards tend to run about a decade or so behind the times. These are the same people that waited three decades to give Martin Scorsese an Oscar he didn’t deserve to make up for the three or four times they didn’t give him an Oscar he did deserve. Okay, you have to give them credit for trying something different last year. While Anne Hathaway was elegant and occasionally funny, James Franco was a total disaster. But at least they tried.
Eddie Murphy? That’s not trying. That’s not even Mexico.
Of course, Eddie would be much less annoying than Ricky Gervais. Sure, Gervais is funny, but that particular vocal delivery style of his only takes about two minutes to firmly wear out its welcome. It’s been said here before and it will be said again: If the Academy Awards really want to do something different and turn out a funnier than hell show, they should hire Steve Coogan to do the hosting job in his persona as Alan Partridge or bring on the “League of Gentlemen” to perform as hosts in their various personae ranging from Tubbs to Papa Lazarou. Can anyone familiar with the “The League of Gentlemen” imagine any better way to handle the always awkward “Best Song” section of the show than by utilizing former member of Creme Brulee, Les McQueen? And who better to critique all the Best Picture nominees than horror fanboys Henry Portrait and Ally Welles?
For more articles by Timothy Sexton, check out:
The League of Gentlemen: Monty Python Meets Alfred Hitchcock
Ben Stiller, Mos Def are Better Choices for Hong Kong Phooey Than Eddie Murphy
Three Choices for Host of Oscars Better Than Ricky Gervais (or Eddie Murphy)