As of 2011, a newer issue that is often litigated is the alienation of affection of the minor children toward the non-custodial parent. Many states do not have statutes regarding this issue, but there is increasing case law in most states. A parent may speak poorly of her spouse to the children, which causes the children to dislike the other spouse. The spouse that is alienating knows what she is doing, and in most cases does it to “get back” at the other parent. The parent causing the alienation never stops to think that it only hurts the children.
Custody and Visitation
During the divorce, the parents or the Court determines which parent gets primary residential care and which gets secondary residential care, or visitation. While both parents usually have equal say in how the children are raised, it is the primary residential care parent who usually takes the children to the doctor and other appointments. Alienation could occur by either parent. If the secondary residential care parent is the parent doing the alienating, the children often want to move in with him, which causes problems with the primary care parent.
Material Items
One of the parents may “spare the rod and spoil the child” as a form of alienation, to try to get the children to “like” him more than the other parent. Often, disparaging remarks are often coupled with allowing children to break rules to gain additional favor from children. “Buying” the children is another form of alienation. A parent may purchase whatever the child requests, even if that parent can’t afford it, just because the other parent said she would not purchase that item.
Visitation and Alienation
Denial of visitation is a major way for a parent to alienate the children from the other. While Courts will not condone this behavior, the primary parent will continue to withhold visitation, causing the other parent to retain an attorney and attend court hearings regarding the situation. Getting the alienating spouse to allow visitation could take months, especially if she ignores court orders.
Conclusion
Some states, such as Florida, have started issuing an order upon the filing of a divorce. The order states, among other things, that the parents must foster a loving relationship between the children and the other spouse. As with all Court documents, each parent is provided with a copy of the order and is expected to abide by the order. The order makes it easier to prosecute the parent who does attempt to alienate the children – or the parent who leaves the county or state with the child.