Recently, an episode of ABC’s “Modern Family” was under attack for a scene in which two year old Lily said her first swear word. The attack was from an anti profanity group that unsuccessfully tried to get ABC to not air the episode but instead had to settle for asking its group members to complain to the network in protest. I certainly do not condone exposing children to profanity, but attacking ABC seemed a bit much. I don’t think that hearing a cuss word now and then necessarily means that your child will grow up to swear like a trucker. Plus, I can definitely relate to the humor in that type of situation.
Early into adulthood, I developed the inappropriate habit of saying a particular cuss word, as well as some of its relatives, when frustrated. When I first became a teacher, I constantly had to remind myself to keep it clean. While at work, I would sometimes think some form of the word if I dropped my stapler or got a paper cut, but I certainly wouldn’t say it in the company of my students. Then when I became a parent, I not only had to watch what I said at work but also in the privacy of my own home. I’m only human though, so accidents have happened.
Anyone who has children knows that they are like parrots when it comes to learning how to speak. On one hand, this is a blessing because the more vocabulary a child acquires in his first years of life, the more successful he may be when it comes to learning to read. On the other hand, this can be a curse because young parrots often expand their vocabulary to include words that could make a parent’s heart stop. Imagine the horror of your two year old seeing a wet fur ball, compliments of the family cat, and hearing him say, “F—— cat!” especially when you knew exactly where he’d heard the phrase. Even worse, imagine witnessing your two year old angrily say, “F—— boots!” while struggling to be independent by putting on his own boots. Now, imagine your mother-in-law is in the room. At the time, these incidents, as well as others, have been pretty distressful. However, they’ve also been learning opportunities for me and teachable moments for my children. I found that the best way to handle their use of profanity was to explain that sometimes adults use certain words even though they shouldn’t and that it’s really not okay for anyone to use these types of words.
I now do my very best to refrain from using any type of profanity, and I’ve trained myself to add “ing” to frick, frack, or frig at times when I do slip. As for my children, their vocabularies are still growing, and they understand that just because a word may be in their vocabulary, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s one they should use.