1. Messy Feet
You realize that your shoes are untied and those toe nail talons are kind of long. They’re yellowish and you’re pretty sure that little guy down there is Digger the Dermatophyte. He’s a crust dweller, so feel free to see a doctor. But, don’t cry.
2. Condor Candy
A condor drops you a special delight as you drive backwards on a one way. Dry your eyes Princess! Don’t you have more pressing issues to deal with right now? Something like, oh I don’t know, ACKNOWLEDGING THE LAW?
3. Robert Goulet
You are incredibly disappointed with Robert Goulet’s most recent hit, but who isn’t? Has there even been one lately? Seriously. If this causes you to sling some snot, then dry your eyes. IT happens and those bumper stickers proclaiming that IT happens do not lie.
4. Spilled Milk
Yes, you spilled it on the dog, but it didn’t seem to hurt his feelings. He is in fact, taking care of that issue as you read. So, let it go, if you can. Then, buy some more. Some people like milk. I do. Clearly, the dog likes it too.
5. Poverty In the World
Poverty is a fact of life. It’s going to exist with out without your acknowledgement or tears. So, stop being so sensitive. It’s make you drip, then leak. Now, dry your face and get busy with something else. Don’t you have flowers to press or a milk spotted dog to dress up in overly cute attire? I thought so. Go on now.