With my 32nd birthday fast approaching, like an individual about to turn fifty, I question my life’s purpose and what I can do to improve it. I’m creating a bucket list as we speak.
So far, I’ve accumulated an enormous amount of student loan debt, purchased a home, drive an adequate vehicle and am doing a great job to-date raising my daughters. While these items are not on my list they happened and I have had to cope with the consequences. As I am about to put another year on earth behind me I’ve been thinking about my future and things that I find utterly unnerving. Like my job, for instance, I truly hate it. It’s not my dream job. Most people dare to admit publically that they hate their jobs. But I am sure that I speak for millions or possibly billions of people when I say, I hate my job.
The mere thought of getting up early, traveling far distances for meager pay and being told what to do all day is not my idea of how I want to spend my life until I am 67 years old and can either finally afford to retire or gladly die.
Most days I feel that I’ve been put in a box and am being held captive. I work as an Administrative Assistant and a lot of people tend to believe that we (Administrative Assistant’s) have nothing more to contribute to the workplace than opening and closing the office, ordering supplies and greeting guests. I believe this belief makes it difficult for hiring managers to see beyond the duties assigned and performed through to the abilities and talents the individual possesses. Therefore, I’ve been an assistant for four years and have been overlooked for numerous supervisory and program management type positions.
Being an assistant involves multitasking, being able to think on your feet and organize your life, your bosses life, your bosses kids lives and their soccer schedules, planning parties you aren’t invited to and being in the presence of people who aren’t your friends and don’t like you by the way.
That’s why sometimes I just want to scream. Apparently, I’m an octopus and have eight arms, so that means I can do sixty things at once, right? First, there are the people in my office who are helpless and can’t seem to fix the copier on their own- it’s just a paper jam. Then, there are those who think that I am their assistant and they sign my check- news flash, you are not the boss of me. Lastly, there are our clients, I mean, patients who absolutely drive me nuts. They call the office all day everyday asking questions I know answered yesterday and the day before.
I am forced to smile big and proud until my lips grow numb. But this is what you have to deal with when you work with the public. Yet, this is amongst the many reasons why I detest my job.
My current role lacks the opportunity to utilize my creativity often. The highlight of my year, this far, has been selecting artwork we were awarded through our foundation. Otherwise, my days are filled with typing meeting minutes, answering the phone, apologizing for the behavior of others, reminding people that I have a boss and wishing that I had a better job.
My former position was bubbly. It was like being in a champagne bottle all day-the expensive kind not the kind that makes your head hurt. I was able to be innovative and blossom as a professional. Jobs like that are far and few in between. I truly appreciate superiors who take employees like myself under their wings and mentor them. It certainly makes a difference and enables people to keep hope alive when they get stuck in a situation like I am currently in.
The bigger reason why I hate my job does not lie in what I actually do or must contend with each day per se, it’s because I’m not living out my dream. I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was in the fourth grade. Now as much as I can’t stand to hear children whining, I yearn to be surrounded by them all day. At least they know how to get you to do what they want you to do by not behaving badly, smiling, giggling and giving you the puppy dog face.
I want to sit on the floor with them, do arts and crafts, have spelling bee showdowns and decorate soda cans. I want to go to my happy place and use my inside voice for a change.
I believe that I can touch far more lives in the classroom than I ever will from the office in which I currently sit- overbooking appointments for patients willing to give anything to have a tooth pulled.
After working tirelessly for the same company for more than twelve years, putting myself through school, buying a home on my own and being able to say that none of my children have been to jail-yet, I deserve to be happy in all facets of my life.
Happiness and bliss in the land of work, for me, means landing a position in a role that makes me feel good about myself and in the contributions I make to the company. But right now, at this moment, happiness and bliss means clocking out and heading home.