Top Five Dating Sins

Most of us dream of the day we’ll meet that perfect person and run gleefully off into the sunset with Mr. Or Miss Wonderful. Why didn’t anyone tell us that these kinds of fairy tales only live in our imagination? OK, maybe they did tell us, but we don’t listen to dream killers, do we?

I mean, it is sooo much more tempting to listen to your inner child whisper sweet dreams of your happily ever after with that one person who steals your heart. You know, the often mentioned “one and only” person on the face of the planet that can meet your ever growing list of must have’s in a mate.

Who wants to listen to old marrieds tell you how HARD married life is? Those scrooges, truly they must be doing something wrong if THEIR marriage doesn’t reflect what we see on movie screens.

I, myself, must admit that I did not want to hear those wise sages spout their tales of give and take, compromise in relationships, nor their heart-wrenching stories of all the trials they went through on their way to the altar. I just knew God had a different plan for my life. Certainly I would not have to go through all of that drama!

Boy was I wrong! After plowing headlong into one of the biggest heartbreaks imaginable – I learned a valuable lesson. No one is exempt from heartache. From this uncomfortable position, God taught me a few lessons on love and dating that I would like to pass along to you. Now I will be the first to say that they’re not things that you can extract from the Bible, but they are practical life lessons sure to help you navigate the sometimes tempestuous waves of the dating ocean.

The “sins” listed below are in no particular order. They are five infractions I’m sure most of us have encountered at one time or another, but hope to never commit again.

Not dating – I’m amazed at how many people sit at home praying for the perfect person to come into their lives. Really? How can anyone find out how wonderful you are if you don’t give him or her a chance to get to know you? Come from behind the sacred walls of your home and let that wonderful person experience all you have to offer. Not dating long enough – Real character cannot be discerned quickly. Don’t expect to uncover a person’s true essence in three dates. It takes time to see all sides of a person to determine their true identity. Slow down. This is a lifetime commitment you’re thinking of. Take your time. Not “interviewing” your date – Ask a gazillion questions and make sure you get straightforward answers. Leave no stone unturned. Ask questions about their past, their present and what they possibly have planned for the future. This is a contract you’re looking to enter into. If you’re going to connect with this individual, you’ll have to deal with everything they’ve ever endured. Not noticing your date’s flaws – Everyone has flaws. Can you deal with your date’s slight imperfections? Can they deal with yours? What seems cute now, may be the worst irritant later. Don’t dismiss warning signs, inconsistencies or things that don’t quite fit. If it bothers you now, that rash will only grow worse later. Not listening to your date – People ALWAYS tell you who they are. Don’t try to make excuses for what you see or ignore glaring warning signals. Don’t ignore it when they tell you they don’t want children, don’t get along with their parents or that, at 30 years old, they’ve had 20 jobs because haven’t found the perfect career. Listen up!

Dating should be an exciting, wonderful adventure where two people get to know each other. Don’t rush the experience. It’s a wonderful fact-finding mission, full of intrigue. Slow down. Exhale. Enjoy the journey.


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