Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

by on October 18th, 2010
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When many people think of wedding vows, they think of the traditional “until death do us part” vows. However, it is becoming more and more popular for couples to write their own vows.

As an ordained minister, I have had the opportunity to assist a few couples in writing their own wedding vows. I have also written personalized vows and services for other couples. When it comes to creating your own wedding vows, there are a few things to consider.

Personalized Stories

When it comes to wedding vows, many couples like to include personalized stories of how they met or special moments from their relationship. My husband and I met in a local park on a bridge by a lake (we also got married at the same bridge), but in my vows I included a reference to meeting on the bridge and that little did I know then how my life would change. It was a short, sweet and simple reference included in the vows.

If you plan to include a story like this, be sure to keep it short and sweet. Long stories can deter from the vows and the ceremony. A simple description and finding a way to tie it into the ceremony is ideal.


Don’t feel obligated to include certain things in your wedding vows. There is nothing set in stone that you must include, so feel free to get creative. I have had couples that have written poems or even composed a song to use as their wedding vows. Consider your vows as your expression of love for your spouse. If you are comfortable singing those vows or composing a poem, then do it.

Let it Flow

At the same time, if you are not comfortable writing poetry, do not feel you have to turn yourself into a greeting card. The most important element of good wedding vows is the feeling that they truly come from the heart. These are your words of love and they should sound like they come from you.

From the Heart

While you may write out your vows (many wedding officiants or ministers will ask for a copy of your vows), spend some time learning your vows. Get to the point where you know them and can say them without having to read a card. While you can carry little cards with you in case nerves get the best of you on your special day, it is much nicer to have vows that come from the heart and are not read from a piece of paper.

Just remember that this is a special day for both you and your future spouse and that the day represents the love that you share. Keep this in mind when writing your vows and make sure they reflect that love and your personalities.

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