It is burning me again
and I’m hungry for you for the first time,
not knowing yet if I really even want
it, when the last time is still so close
and I can taste
it in the back of my mouth, and mind, growing bitter.
Not wanting to stay bitter
makes me think this will all just happen again,
leaving that awful taste
in my heart, where time
seems to be a friend so close
to letting me feel what I want.
Because now I don’t even know what I want
when there is something so bitter
that keeps a home close
to where it can emerge again
at just the right time
to ruin the taste.
Today I started to taste
this thing and want
it all at the same time,
hopefully, devoid of turning bitter
again
with something so wonderful this close.
I’ve begun to lose the definition of close,
and its taste,
with the sinking feeling that this is all happening again
with my want
still as strong as it ever was, but covered in bitter
and playing with time.
So, this time,
take me at face value, and hold me close
even if I’m bitter,
because I know that you can taste
this, and that you want
it the same as me, without having to be scared again.