Keeping the lines of communication open with your teen is vital for a healthy relationship between the two of you. Often, however, this is easier said than done. While the parent is usually more than willing to have open and honest discussions about everything from sex to schoolwork, most teens find these talks uncomfortable, invasive or even downright annoying.
It helps to start having great communication with your child from a young age. However, once your child hits puberty, his or her whole attitude can change. If you are met with resistance while trying to start a discussion with your teenager, the important thing to remember is not to give up. It may take a little time and a lot of patience to get your son or daughter to open up about his or her personal life. Another important factor in having successful communication with your child, especially on a topic like drugs and alcohol, is the way you approach the subject. If you start off lecturing or preaching, you may risk losing your teen’s attention from the start.
Even if you have an honor roll student who has never been in trouble at school before, you need to open up a dialogue about drug and alcohol use. Peer pressure can be a powerful force and all too often, it is tragically underestimated by parents who simply cannot fathom the thought that their child would ever experiment with a mind altering substance.
Some key points to keep in mind when preparing for a discussion about drugs and alcohol include:
Try to be as honest as possible. Be open to input from your teen. Let him or her have a voice and express his or her opinions. Be a good listener. You expect your child to listen to you so show him or her same respect during a conversation.
Here is where the honesty can get tricky. Your teen asks you if you ever tried smoking pot or drinking alcohol when you were a teenager. If you never did those things, it’s an easy answer. However, for many parents, this question can be difficult to answer because they did experiment with a substance at a young age, which may or may not have had severe consequences.
Take some time to think about how you’ll answer this question before talking to your teen. Again, this may be a great opportunity for you to lead by example by answering honestly. Not everyone will feel comfortable doing this, so it will ultimately be a matter of personal choice for you as a parent. However, if you made reckless choices yourself as a teen, just make sure your admission to trying a substance when you were underage does not sound like you condone or encourage your child to make the same choice. Find a way to turn your past mistakes into a positive life lesson for your child.
If you’re still not sure about telling your teenager the truth about your choice to use drugs or alcohol when you were a teen, consider this. Your child may possibly be more inclined to share the truth with you about whether he or she has tried or has thought about using a substance if you have the courage to be completely honest with him or her first. Although it may not seem like it, you probably have more influence on your teen than you are even aware of. That being said, the best way to keep your kids from doing illegal drugs is to avoid doing them as a parent. If you do choose to drink as a legal adult, do it responsibly. Do not drink and drive and don’t drink excessively around your children.
All parents were once teenagers and they experienced much of the same type of peer pressure that teens today are faced with. Fortunately, parents today are becoming more open-minded. Issues that were once hidden away as family secrets, not to be discussed, are now common topics for discussion. Now more than ever, parents and teens can come together and have an honest dialogue about important subjects such as drugs and alcohol, which can have a life altering impact on the entire family.