Do you ever get the feeling that you are being set up to fail by the people you call your friends? If so, you wouldn’t be alone. According to some interesting new findings, it would seem that up to three quarters of people admit to being jealous of a friend, at one time or another. What does this mean to you? If you’re on the recieving end, it could mean alot.
Lets say that you have put on a few pounds and have finally decided to get on that diet you keep talking about. Then lets say it works and you begin to drop pounds, begin fitting into smaller clothes and getting more attention. How many times has that “good” friend of yours offered to take you out to lunch at your favorite restaraunt or brought you a cupcake with a special note attatched to it soon after telling them about your success?
That is just one example of how sometimes, jealousy can affect us in negative ways. Another example might be that you have gotten a really great job, but after telling your friend about it, they would rather talk about thier own personal issues than offer you congratulations.
Though its normal to have minor conflict within any given friendship, it is not very healthy to put down or make someone feel bad for trying to better themselves in some way or another. Too often, a friendship tends to be lopsided. One person being the supportive leaning post, while the other one tends to be the selfish, look at me type. Why these two completely differnt personality types tend to become such good friends is beyond me, but it is evident in many, many friendships.
Perhaps each personality type offers the other something that they dont have. Then again, it could be lopsided because the one thinks the other needs them and perhaps they do…who am I to decide. The question is, how do you fix such a relationship so that it can be beneficial for both parties involved?
Lets face it, we all need friends. Sometimes though, we tend to overlook our friends faults in order to keep the peace. Perhaps its time for all those who feel taken advantage of and underappreciated to speak up and put thier foot down.
It is okay to tell your friend that you feel unappreciated…or at least it should be. If you can’t be honest with your closest friends, then who can you be honest with? Of course, that dosn’t mean you should go out of your way to be honest in such a way that it would damage the relationship, but an honest conversation on boundaries might suffice.
If you feel like everytime you have a success, that your friend is oblivious; then tell them that. Before you do however, make sure that you ask if the other person is open for discussion about your relationship with one another. It shouldn’t be a big deal, it can be something quick and simple over coffee.
However, lets say that you have this talk and things do not improve, then you may need to consider whether or not the friendship you are in is an actual friendship. It might be time to move on if the other party is either not interested in a heart felt conversation about thier bad behavior or continues the behavior after your talk. There is no reason to have to feel as if you are being set up to fail or as if you are being sabatoged by your own friends. Like the old saying goes, there are plenty of friends in the sea…