What is the leading cause of death in Maine

What is the leading cause of death for african americans in Seatt…?

http://www.chacha.com/question/what-is-the-leading-cause-of-death-for-african-americans-in-seattle

Heart disease is the eading cause of death for African Americans. Thanks for using ChaCha. We’re here for you 24/7!

What are the leading causes of death?

http://answers.ask.com/Health/Other/what_are_the_leading_causes_of_death

The two leading causes of death in the United States are cancer and heart disease. Accidents is the 5th leading cause. In many other countries AIDS is the number one cause of death.

Did you know that lung disease is the third leading cause of deat…?

http://www.netwellness.org/healthtopics/lung/lungrespirintro.cfm

In fact, each year nearly 400,000 people in the United States die of lung disease, and over 35 million people in the U.S. suffer from a chronic lung disease. Some NetWellness health topics focusing on lung diseases are asthma COPD cystic …

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Need Help! What do you think?

Q: I rewrote my first two paragraphs but it feels a little forced and I think it kind of sucks. What do you think? Synopsis- Kendall Rose Harlot is not known for her patient manner but she was known as Bobby ‘Ice’ Harlot’s daughter. Ice is known as the president for the Black Crows, an outlaw motorcycle gang. Kendall left her small town in Maine along with the misconception that it was connected to her mother’s gang related death five years prior, for college in New York City. When her quick temper and bad timing got her into trouble with the wrong people she had no where to run but home. Shortly after returning home to Maine she realizes nothing had changed including her chemistry with her childhood best friend, Rocky. When her New York City troubles catch up to her, the life she has been running from for years might be the only thing that can save her… Riding It Out- Kendall Rose Harlot remembers every detail of that day five years ago. She remembers the noise the gun made, the way he cocked it and smiled right before he pulled the trigger. He didn’t’t have one ounce of regret on his face. He walked away proud knowing what he did had earned him respect. She remembers the way it felt when the blood splattered across her new graduation dress. She remembers her mothers face right before she hit the floor, shocked and confused as she grabbed her chest struggling for each breath. She remembers hearing her own cries of hysteria while watching her mother whimper in agony. It all happened so fast and in matter of minutes her mother was gone. After three miserable hours of just staring at her blank computer screen in her poorly lit apartment, Kendall had decided to give up writing about the leading cause of death in America. Her small column wasn’t’t due for another couple of weeks anyway. Today wasn’t’t a good day to be writing about death she was already thinking about it enough. Each year she told herself the next year will be easier and, each year she is wrong. This year being no exception. Kendall couldn’t’t help but think to herself that next year will be easier. Maybe that’s how she got through each year, hoping and wishing that the next would be easier. One year she knew she was going to be right. She picked up her phone and dialed Sammy’s, her brother, number. It was a yearly tradition that they both had become an accustomed to. She would call they would chat and then they would fight about how Kendall needed to call her father. She decided to hang up before he answered. Kendall didn’t’t feel like fighting about their dad this year. In the end it solved nothing; she wasn’t’t going to call him. Any suggestions will be taken to heart. I know this takes up a lot of time but I really appreciate any feedback you might have. Thanks!!

A: thh plot is good.i actually want to know whha happens withh kendall.yu have a couple of grammar mistakes(i.e sentences and punctuations:yrs: Today wasn’t’t a good day to be writing about death she was already thinking about it enoughshould be: Today wasn’t a good day to be writing about death; she had already thought enough of it. [or something like thha]i know i know: whho am i to critic abbout yr grammar if i misspell everyy othrr word.lol.(:tryy not to focus so much abbout fgettingg everyything done. i thinll w// a lil more detail yu should bb fine.(:buena suerte.(:

A couple of paragraphs of my first draft. What do you think?

Q: This is the first couple of paragraph of hopefully what will become my novel. It doesn’t seem that good to me. It needs some extra tweaking and editing I think. Let me know what you think. Any suggestions will be taken to heart. Thanks!! I added some background so you won’t be confused to whats going to happen. Oh yeah I realized I posted this earlier but not a lot of people were on since it’s like in the wee hours of the morning. Tell me what you think! If you see any grammatical errors (I am sure there are many) let me know! Thanks! Kendall Rose Harlot is not known for her patient manner but she was known as Bobby ‘Ice’ Harlots daughter. Ice is known as The Black Crows, an outlaw motorcycle gang, president. Kendall Rose left her small town in Maine along with the reputation that it carried shortly after her mothers gang related death five years ago for college in New York City. When her quick temper and bad timing get her in trouble with the wrong people she has no where to go but home. When she returns home she realizes that nothing has changed including the chemistry with Rocky, her childhood best friend. When her NYC trouble catches up to her the life she has been running from for years might be the only thing that can save her… Kendall Rose Harlot watched the clock as time slowly ticked away. She had spent the last three hours trying to write a freelance story for the New York Times but had failed completely. Today she just wasn’t’t her day she had no inspiration at all to write about the leading cause in death or any other crap story. Of course it might have something to do with the fact that today was the five year anniversary of her mother’s death. Each year she tells herself that next year will be easier and each year she is wrong, this one being no different. Kendall Rose couldn’t’t help but think to herself that next year will be easier. Maybe that’s how she got through each year hoping and wishing that next year will be easier. One year she knew she was going to be right… After another hour of just sitting and watching her blank computer screen she decided to give it up for now. In a couple of hours she was going out with some friends to relax and try not to think about what was happening on this day five years ago. She picked up her phone and dialed her brother’s house. It was a yearly tradition they had become a custom to. She would call and they would talk about everything else but their mom and then they would get into a fight about how she needed to call her father. She decided to hang up instead she needed to do something before she started this. Kendall walked into her bedroom turned on ‘Let It Be’ which was her mother’s favorite song and stared at a picture of her mother. Most people would cry but Kendall didn’t’t or she couldn’t’t she honestly didn’t’t know the answer to that anymore. She continued to stare in awe at the picture of her beautiful mother. It was when she was about twenty five years old, a year older then Kendall was now. They shared so much in common. The mess of strawberry blonde curls that they both hated so much along with the porcelain skin that was soft as it looked, the typical freckles the covered only their long slim noses and high cheek bones. Oh and don’t forget those piercing blue eyes that looked like an ocean, full of light greens and blues. It amazed Kendall how much they favored each other. Her mother was curvy and tall. Kendall however had a scrawny frame with curves no where insight. She had managed to get some muscle on her from running and working out three times a week or whenever she had the time. Her cell rung before she could continue her thoughts, it was Sammy. “Hey.” Kendall simply said like it was just another day.I agree with all that has been said actually. Thank you for your suggestions. Really! I justed wanted to get a feel of how it would be reviewed.

A: What you’ve written can be improved with a few rewrites but don’t worry about that now. Continue with your story and once it is finished return and do the first of a several rewrites you’ll need. By that time you’ll be looking at the story with fresh eyes and improving it will be easy. The key here is to finish the story. Don’t worry about every sentence and paragraph being perfect along the way. You’ll have plenty of opporunity for that later.

What do you think about the first paragraph of my story?

Q: This is the first paragraph of hopefully what will become my novel. It doesn’t seem that good to me. It needs some extra tweaking and editing I think. Let me know what you think. Any suggestions will be taken to heart. Thanks!! I added some background so you won’t be confused to whats going to happen. Kendall Rose Harlot is not known for her patient manner but she was known as Bobby ‘Ice’ Harlots daughter. Ice is known as The Black Crows, an outlaw motorcycle gang, president. Kendall Rose left her small town in Maine along with the reputation that it carried shortly after her mothers gang related death five years ago for college in New York City. When her quick temper and bad timing get her in trouble with the wrong people she has no where to go but home. When she returns home she realizes that nothing has changed including the chemistry with Rocky, her childhood best friend. When her NYC trouble catches up to her the life she has been running from for years might be the only thing that can save her… Kendall Rose Harlot watched the clock as time slowly ticked away. She had spent the last three hours trying to write a freelance story for the New York Times but had failed completely. Today she just wasn’t’t her day she had no inspiration at all to write about the leading cause in death or any other crap story. Of course it might have something to do with the fact that today was the five year anniversary of her mother’s death. Each year she tells herself that next year will be easier and each year she is wrong, this one being no different. Kendall Rose couldn’t’t help but think to herself that next year will be easier. Maybe that’s how she got through each year hoping and wishing that next year will be easier. One year she knew she was going to be right… After another hour of just sitting and watching her blank computer screen she decided to give it up for now. In a couple of hours she was going out with some friends to relax and try not to think about what was happening on this day five years ago. She picked up her phone and dialed her brother’s house. It was a yearly tradition they had become a custom to. She would call and they would talk about everything else but their mom and then they would get into a fight about how she needed to call her father. She decided to hang up instead she needed to do something before she started this. Kendall walked into her bedroom turned on ‘Let It Be’ which was her mother’s favorite song and stared at a picture of her mother. Most people would cry but Kendall didn’t’t or she couldn’t’t she honestly didn’t’t know the answer to that anymore. She continued to stare in awe at the picture of her beautiful mother. It was when she was about twenty five years old, a year older then Kendall was now. They shared so much in common. The mess of strawberry blonde curls that they both hated so much along with the porcelain skin that was soft as it looked, the typical freckles the covered only their long slim noses and high cheek bones. Oh and don’t forget those piercing blue eyes that looked like an ocean, full of light greens and blues. It amazed Kendall how much they favored each other. Her mother was curvy and tall. Kendall however had a scrawny frame with curves no where insight. She had managed to get some muscle on her from running and working out three times a week or whenever she had the time. Her cell rung before she could continue her thoughts, it was Sammy. “Hey.” Kendall simply said like it was just another day.

A: Loved it. Wanted to read on and find out whats next. Obviously this is a first draft with few grammatical errors but nevertheless very good. Keep going at it