Three Keys for Dealing with Difficult Children

A difficult child is one that is strong willed and does not follow directions. They test and challenge authority and at times even defy social taboos and mores of behavior. When placed in a time out this child will walk out of it over and over and over again. There are diagnosis’s given to children with such oppositional behavior such as oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, and explosive disorder. Difficult children can also have high anxiety, which also contributes to their oppositional behavior.

These kids behaviors worsen when they are hungry, angry, lonely or tired: especially tired. Difficult children have low frustration tolerance and frustrate easily. Difficult children present a challenge to any parent. Their explosive moods intensify if they are tired, or sick. The three keys for dealing with difficult children are easy to remember because they are the three C’s: Calm, Concrete and Consistent.

BE CALM Being fair, diplomatic and calm is a language that difficult children respond to. An oppositional child will challenge adults and views their parent or caregiver’s anger as a challenge. Your anger sets off more of their defiant and explosive behavior. As difficult as it is, you must stay calm and talk to the child vs. yelling at them. Calmness is key when dealing with difficult children. Harsh, stern, authoritarian parenting does not work with these kids because it sounds as if you are angry and anger causes them to react.

BE CONCRETE Do not waiver because a difficult child will look for your weakness and capitalize on it. If you say no you must stick to your decision, despite all this child will do to get you to change your mind. If you set a rule and a consequence, follow through with it. You must be firm without being harsh. Your yes needs to be yes and your no needs to mean no.

BE CONSISTANT . For a difficult child, consistency equals structure and structure equals safety. The more difficult the child, the more structure they need without excessive rigidness. They need to know what will happen each day, what is expected of them, where they will be, and with who. Any change to their schedule or any changes in caregivers or teachers can be anxiety producing for them and bring on their moody and defiant behavior. They also need to know that you are consistent in your treatment of them.

Being calm, concrete and consistent will help you dealing with difficult children. The three C’s are the three keys for dealing with difficult children and will help you make their lives and your life a bit easier.

For more articles like this see: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8231409/what_a_parent_needs_to_know_about_anxious.html?cat=25


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