“Peter!” Susan called her husband at the top of her lungs. He was still brushing his teeth after his Sunday morning lie-in. “Yes dear” “You need to come outside right now” “What is it” he asked as he looked for matching socks “Armadillos and they’re making holes in your lawn, what are we going to do” Peter Pondered “We still have those live traps” “But what can we use as bait Peter? I mean they eat bugs” “Let’s try a Google search and just see what it says” His wife wasn’t optimistic as the forums hadn’t been a big help last time. “I’ll leave you to it while I go and check on Jess”
“Mommy I was waiting for the nuts where have you been?” Her daughter was stood at the back door hands on hips. “Sorry sweetie I was just talking to daddy about the uh squirrels” “That’s what I wanted to tell you” She said impatiently “They’re different, they have sharp claws and you can get really close to them if you’re quiet. It’s like they can’t see very well. They look funny when they run, watch this” Jess sped off and sure enough their tiny little legs did look funny, Susan smiled in spite of herself. They were very cute and the holes were small, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. She watched them stop and go their separate ways each seeking to claim a part of her yard as their own.
Susan crouched down and explained to Jess that these were armadillos and they ate insects. The little girl liked the sound of that as she hated bugs. ”Come on lets go inside and make breakfast, how do pancakes sound?” Susan held out her hand and Jess reached up to take it. “The forum says to try bananas” said Peter as he reached for his orange juice. “I don’t know if that’s really necessary darling, it’s not that bad I think I just panicked” “Okay then whatever you say” he replied. It wasn’t long before she regretted those words.
While outside picking roses, she noticed that the flower pots they hadn’t got around to planting were overturned and that the soil was all over the place with deep ruts. The front lawn hadn’t fared much better and the flower bed with the crepe myrtles was a disaster. Susan went into the kitchen and made a little foil bowl for the banana; next she opened the garage and wrestled with the trap for about 2 minutes before getting frustrated and giving up. Peter put it out when he got home and baited it although it was a bit messier than handling the meat. The next day there was no big game but they had managed to catch a few ants.
“Okay so those people on the forum have no idea what they’re talking about obviously!” She hissed angrily “We need to be logical and find out where they live, that way we can place the trap at the opening and when the little critters try to hunt, ha! We got you!” Her husband smiled. “Ask Jess to keep an eye out when she’s playing I’ll make sure that both traps are open”
“Sweetie you know the armadillos? Have you seen them lately?” Susan asked as she gave Jess her cereal “I see one in the mornings he lives under the deck near the roses” “Good girl let us know if you see any more okay?” “Okay” She said and went back to her breakfast.
Susan shone a flashlight under the deck and detected movement, there were two exits, and she’d have to block one. She looked for rocks and eventually found an old brick, she moved the trap into position threw in a handful of mothballs and shoved the brick into the gap. She waited excitedly but nothing happened, it was hot so she went inside and looked out of the window. There was the armadillo evidently strong enough to move a brick and eager to get away from the stench of mothballs. Susan was so mad.
Later that day Jess spotted the one in the front, her mother chased it and he ran stopping once he thought that she had, but she stamped her foot and he took off again disappearing into a tree. Jess stood guard as Susan brought over the trap, a shipping blanket and two rocks. She placed it at the opening just like the plan and covered it with the blanket, which was then pinned down at the sides by the rocks, so that it couldn’t be moved. They didn’t have to wait long for the ping as the pest was hungry after exerting so much energy. It had worked! Susan could hardly contain her excitement.
“Okay sweetie Mommy’s going to call animal control, come into the house with me” “But where are they going to take him?” Jess asked suddenly frantic. “To a better place honey, I don’t have time for this now come on” The child wouldn’t move “But he likes it here, I don’t want them to lock him in a cage” The little girl burst into tears. “It’s alright baby” Susan scooped her up in her arms and tried to comfort her. She hated to see her daughter so upset it broke her heart. “You know what?” “What?” Jess looked up and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “We are going to take your little buddy…” “Fred his name’s Fred” She interrupted. “Yes we are going to take Fred to a wonderful place where he’ll have loads of other friends to play with” “Where?” She demanded. “To the woods” Jess sniffed “Can we go now?” “Of course” replied her mother. “Get your coat and I’ll meet you at the car.
Susan put a sheet of plastic on the back floorboard of the car and wrapped the blanket around the diminutive prison; she didn’t want sharp claws tearing at the daughter’s dangling feet. Off they went with a wire hanger to open the door of the trap. ‘Fred’ was surprisingly quiet, the journey had probably subdued him and he was even reluctant to leave once they got to their destination, but Jess coaxed him out.
When they got home Susan realized that she couldn’t go through this any longer and called animal control as soon as Jess was down for her nap. The men were professional and courteous but best of all Susan didn’t have to do a thing except write a check, something she had not done in quite some time. It was Peter’s turn to worry; she was in the mood for some much deserved online retail therapy.
Martina McCullough