Jokes i need jokes

What’s the best christmas present ever? help me! i need musical c…?

http://www.themouthpiece.com/vb/showthread.php?t=30919

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman die on Christmas Eve. All three are waiting at the pearly gates, at St Peter says, ‘In keeping with the christmas spirit you must show me something related to the season in order to gain entry to heaven. If…

What are some good april fools jokes i need them fast.?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090330131825AA0hA3k

i know its sorta 1st grade but put a bucket full of cereal on top of a door and get the video camera out. Put it to wear they cant see it. then it will fall on them. If they ask you why you put a bucket on top of their door. Say , why is yo…

Do I need to laugh at the jokes in the Showcase?

http://simplicitybridalgifts.com/SeminarGiftInfo/FAQ.aspx

Yes, if you do not laugh or have fun, your host’s feeling will be hurt and he/she will slow down from the depression and your show will last longer. Q

Related Questions Answered on Y!Answers

I need jokes about identical twins for renaissance festival characters we’re developing. Do you know any?

Q: No terribly raunchy jokes, please, but please post jokes about identical twins. We’re developing a character for Renaissance festival. It’s okay to use familiar jokes or lines from movies. Thanks!

A: one of my favourite jokes…..”when you see a pair of identical twins standing facing each other, have you ever, just for a fleeting moment thought ‘oooh look a vase!!’ “as in that optical illusion where you cant work out whether it is 2 people facing each other or just that the biit in the middle of their faces is a vase – this one – http://www.brainbashers.com/showillusion.asp?9i love that joke, I hope i didnt spoil it with the explaining!!

need jokes to make high school girls laugh?

Q: Hey guys, I need some funny 1-2 line jokes for high school, just something to make girls laugh :), Thanks!

A: Memory’s GoingAn eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?” He replied, “To the kitchen.” She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” “Sure.” Then his wife asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” “No, I can remember that.” “Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you’ll forget that,” his wife said. “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” She replied, “Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down.” With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.” He went into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”

Tell me jokes, Jokes, Jokes I NEED JOKES?!!!!??

Q: just jokes all around!

A: TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.MARIA: Here it is.TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?CLASS: Maria.____________________________________TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.__________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’TEACHER: No, that’s wrongGLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?DONALD: H I J K L M N O.TEACHER: What are you talking about?DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.__________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.WINNIE: Me!__________________________________________TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are._______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’MILLIE: I is..TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’ _________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ I love these jokes!!! I Almost died!!! ~_~